When mommy pees her pants

“Is everything okay in here?” my husband asked softly from behind the cracked bathroom door. I was on the other side, hiding behind the shower curtain, my face burning red from embarrassment and hidden from view.

He was checking on me because he had heard me crying. Even with the sound of the shower running and the door closed, he could hear me sobbing from our living room. Later he confessed to me that he was afraid that I had slipped and that I had gotten hurt in the shower.

We were only just home from the hospital; I had just given birth to our first child two weeks prior. There had been some complications during and after the delivery, so a fall wasn’t out of the question.

I almost wish I had fallen, or that I was crying out in pain—which after a third-degree tear, was considerable. Neither was the case. I was crying out of shock, a touch of shame, and a whole lot of embarrassment.

“I pooped in the shower,” I finally managed to say between sobs. My husband, not one to mince words, laughed. It wasn’t a cruel laugh, or even a laugh at my expense. He laughed because he was relieved that the only thing I had hurt was my pride. That didn’t make me feel any better though. I was standing in my shower of shame, afraid that I’d be pooping and peeing my pants forever, afraid that this was my new normal.

Later, after that shower, when everything was cleaned up and I was clothed and alone with my new baby, I did a quick Google search. I discovered that some urinary incontinence after childbirth was indeed completely normal. With Kegel exercises and some pelvic floor strengthening, most women saw significant improvement over time. I felt momentarily bolstered by that information, and secure in the knowledge that I could flex and stretch my way back to a tight seal in no time.

Ah, hubris…

Thankfully, I haven’t had another shower like that one. Unfortunately, I still have frequent accidents of the urinary variety. I am lucky as a stay-at-home mom that most of my bladder control problems are only witnessed by my children, which is convenient because, with both of them still in diapers, they have no room to laugh at me. It’s also appropriate that they bear witness to all of this, since it’s really all because of them.

I leak when I pick them up off the ground or squat to get down to their level, or I don’t run to the bathroom when I have to go because I have a million other things to do first. But on the bright side, children make easy scapegoats for any strange smells or patches of wetness I may encounter.

My toddler has just begun potty training. Yesterday she squatted down to play with her toy while we were outside on the deck and peed through her underwear. I quickly ran over to scoop her up and put her on the training potty that was outside with us, and I felt a gush of pee myself. Instead of immediately becoming frustrated, I laughed.

The two of us made quite a pair, peeing our pants while playing outside on the last real day of summer. She got upset, and a little embarrassed, as I quickly plopped her down on the potty and encourage her to try and finish.

“It’s OK,” I told her. “Everyone has accidents. Mommy still has them too!” I leave out the part where I think it’s all her fault.

I’ve made peace with my pee-pee pants, for the most part. If parenting has taught me anything, it’s that everything is temporary. And even if this is permanent, it’s a small price to pay for all of the labor (no pun intended) my body endured bringing these kids into this world and the joy I experience raising them.

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Free incontinence samples & coupons

It can be overwhelming to choose a pad or liner to manage your urinary incontinence. With so many brands out there and variations in thickness, length, and absorbency, it can be tricky to predict what will work best for you. Many brands offer free incontinence samples that you can order online to test out before springing for a full box. We’ve rounded up all the free incontinence samples we could find on the web, all on one page! (Plus some great coupons for incontinence products in case you find one you like!) Go crazy! Your bladder deserves the best.

Liner samples and coupons

TENA liner free trial kit

Includes: 2 liners
Ships: 1-2 weeks

Poise starter pack for light leaks

Includes: 2 liners and 1 pad
Ships: 1-3 weeks

TENA coupons

$1 off any liner product
$7 off any liner product
$14 off any liner product

Poise coupons

$2 off any liner product

Pad samples and coupons

TENA Intimates light/moderate free trial kit

Includes: 2 pads
Ships: 1-2 weeks

TENA Intimates heavy free trial kit

Includes: 3 pads
Ships: 1-2 weeks

Prevail bladder control sample

Includes: 1 pad
Ships: 1-2 weeks

Tranquility 2-pack sample

Includes: 2 pads
Choose product from website and enter code TQDRY2017 at checkout

TENA coupons

$1 off any pad product
$7 off any pad product
$14 off any pad product

Poise coupons

$2 off any pad product

Lunapads reusable pad discount

$5 off $35 with code LUNANEWS

Overnight samples and coupons

TENA overnight free trial kit

Includes: 1 underwear and 1 pad
Ships: 1-2 weeks

Prevail bladder control sample

Includes: 1 overnight pad
Ships: 1-2 weeks

Prevail protective underwear sample

Includes: 1 underwear
Ships: 1-2 weeks

Depend coupon

$2 off 1 package of Night Defense Underwear

Underwear samples and coupons

TENA women’s underwear free trial kit

Includes: 1 underwear
Ships: 1-2 weeks

Prevail protective underwear sample

Includes: 1 underwear
Ships: 1-2 weeks

Prevail adult brief sample

Includes: 1 underwear
Ships: 1-2 weeks

Tranquility 2-pack sample

Includes: 2 underwears
Choose product from website and enter code TQDRY2017 at checkout

TENA coupons

$1 off any underwear product
$7 off any underwear product
$14 off any underwear product

Depend coupons

$2 off 1 package of Fit-Flex underwear
$2 off 1 package of Silhouette underwear
$2 off 1 package of Silhouette Active Fit underwear

Icon Undies referral code

$10 off for every person who buys Icon using your referral code

Bladder support samples and coupons

Poise Impressa coupons

$3 off Poise Impressa bladder supports sizing kit (3-count)
$3 off Poise Impressa bladder supports (10-count)

So, there you have it: a massive list of free incontinence samples and coupons for incontinence products. Have a favorite? Let us know!

Postpartum incontinence FAQ

On top of all the things you expected with having a baby—no sleep, breastfeeding woes, hormonal shifts—you’ve also experienced some unexpected leakage. Here’s everything you wanted to know about postpartum incontinence but might be embarrassed to ask.

Q: Why am I leaking urine after having a baby?

A: You’re experiencing postpartum incontinence, which is a form of stress incontinence. This means that when your bladder experiences pressure from activities like laughing, sneezing, running, or lifting, it leaks a little. Usually, this happens because childbirth often tears or weakens the pelvic floor; when those muscles are weakened or indisposed, they have trouble keeping the urethra closed as expected to hold urine in the bladder.

Q: But I had a C-section!

A: Even if you didn’t give birth vaginally, you may still experience postpartum incontinence. This is especially true if you experienced prenatal incontinence, which is extremely common late in the pregnancy because a growing baby crowds out and places undue pressure on the bladder.

Q: How common is postpartum incontinence?

A: It’s quite common. Up to 50 percent of women experience some postpartum incontinence. One study found that among women who experienced prenatal incontinence, postpartum incontinence occurred in half of those who delivered vaginally and 23 percent of those who had a C-section. But postpartum incontinence is also common among women who didn’t leak during pregnancy: 20 percent of women who delivered vaginally experienced postpartum incontinence, as did 8 percent of women who had C-sections.

Q: What causes postpartum incontinence?

A: Essentially, postpartum incontinence happens when the pelvic muscles surrounding the urethra stretch and weaken during pregnancy and delivery, so they have a harder time doing their job of keeping the urethra closed. That means that when the bladder experiences stress or urge, pee is more likely to slip out. Other factors can contribute to the likelihood of postpartum incontinence, including diabetes, obesity, the use of forceps during delivery, a large baby, multiple vaginal births, smoking, or genetic predisposition.

Q: Will postpartum incontinence go away?

A: Some women see postpartum incontinence disappear a few months after giving birth as the pelvic floor strengthens. Other women say it sticks around for years. Five years after giving birth, one-third to one-half of women experience some degree of leaking.

Q: What can I do about postpartum incontinence?

A: Doing regular Kegel exercises can really help manage postpartum incontinence, and sometimes relieve it altogether. In the meantime, there are a variety of products, from light liners to overnight pads to absorbent underwear, that are specially designed for urinary leaks and make it easier to maintain your usual routine.

Q: What should I not do if I’m experiencing postpartum incontinence?

A: Don’t dehydrate yourself! Many women think drinking less water will lead to fewer leaks or urges, but that’s not really true. Plus, dehydration comes with its own slew of problems—and when you’re recovering from pregnancy, hydrating is especially important. Keep drinking the recommended eight glasses a day and seek out healthier ways to address the problem instead. Another thing: Many women find themselves avoiding social interactions or leaving the house because they’re ashamed or embarrassed. If you find yourself thinking this way, see a doctor, who can help you find ways to handle the incontinence and the anxiety that comes with it. In other words, don’t let a little leaking disrupt your life or your care for your baby.

Q: If I see my doctor about it, what will she recommend for postpartum incontinence? Can she actually help?

A: Most likely, she’ll recommend a course of Kegel exercises and show you how to do them correctly. Depending on the severity of your incontinence or your level of discomfort, she may also refer you to a pelvic floor physical therapist for specialized treatment or suggest a bladder sling surgery, in which a mesh net is inserted to support your urethra. She’ll also help you work through general diet and health factors to minimize irritation and pressure on your bladder.

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Top 5 exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles

Any doctor (or Google search, for that matter!) will tell you that doing exercises to strengthen pelvic floor muscles is key for decreasing UI symptoms. That’s because the pelvic floor—the muscles that surround and support your vagina, urethra, and anus—can weaken or change with age, hormonal shifts, childbirth, weight gain, pregnancy, or a number of other factors. When that happens, the muscles don’t keep the urethra closed the way they’re supposed to, which can lead to all kinds of leaks and other UI symptoms. So just like any other muscle in your body, the pelvic floor needs exercise to stay strong.

Now here’s the nuanced part: There isn’t a silver bullet when it comes to strengthening your pelvic floor. What works for you might not work for your friend. That said, we do have some favorite exercises here at Motherfigure to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. You might recognize some of these from your yoga or body weight workouts, because working the pelvic floor often engages the abs and core, too. But our best tip? Remember to breathe. Deep body breaths are as critical as anything else to building a strong pelvic floot.

1. Kegels

Kegels are the vitamins of the UI world: You’re supposed to do them every day but no one really wants to. But they really do work! The good news is, you don’t need to set aside special time for them or even put on workout clothes. Do them at work, while watching TV, even while driving.

How to do it: To find your Kegel muscles, stop your stream of urine next time you pee. Now clench those same muscles while you’re not peeing, hold for a few seconds, and release. You just did a Kegel!

Repeat: Do 3 sets of 10 Kegels a day and you can expect to see results within a few weeks.

Why it works: The more these muscles work, the stronger they become. And the stronger they are, the better job they do keeping the urethra shut and stopping UI leaks.

Bonus: Many women report that doing Kegels regularly also leads to better orgasms.

2. Floor bridge

This exercise strengthens the pelvic floor by engaging those muscles in a different way than Kegels do, also helping them strengthen.

How to do it: Lie on your back and place your feet flat on the floor, about hip-width apart. Your knees should be bent, and you can place a ball or rolled up towel in between them to make sure you’re squeezing. Then, engage your pelvic floor and lift your hips so that there’s a straight line from your chest to your knees. Hold for 10 seconds and release back to the floor.

Repeat: Do 10 times.

Why it works: By squeezing your thighs together to lift your hips, your pelvic floor muscles are engaged and working.

Bonus: This exercise not only strengthens the pelvic floor but also tones the glutes.

3. Wall pose

Work on your muscles with the wall pose, an exercise that strengthens the pelvic floor without a Kegel in sight.

How to do it: Lie on the floor with your butt pressed up against the wall and your legs spread in a V on the wall. Your hands are on the floor next to you, palms up. Gently bring your legs together so that they are straight up and against the wall; now your body should look like an L from the side. Hold this for about a minute, and let your legs fall back down into the V.

Repeat: Do this about 10 times.

Why it works: This pose engages other muscles, and because your legs are upside down, the change in gravity puts some pressure on the diaphragm. This allows for deeper breaths and lets the pelvic muscles relax.

Bonus: Because the back and legs are pretty relaxed in this pose, some people say it helps with feelings of anxiety and stress.

4. Malasana squat

This traditional yoga pose does double duty as a pelvic floor strengthener.

How to do it: Stand with your feet slightly wider than shoulder-width apart, feet facing slightly outward. Bend your knees and lower your body into a deep squat, and press your elbows against your inner thighs and bring your hands together. Your knees should be pointing slightly outward, not straight in front of you. Straighten your back, breathe, and hold for one minute.

Repeat: Cycle through this a few times.

Why it works: This exercise strengthens the pelvic floor by lengthening it. That makes the muscles stronger when they contract, shutting the urethra closed.

Bonus: This is a grounding pose and its emphasis on your lower half is said to help the mind and body digest what’s holding them back, both physically and emotionally.

5. Foam roller back stretch

Bad posture—and specifically an increased curve or hunch in the midback—has been shown to be connected to UI and pelvic floor dysfunction. So an exercise to strengthen the pelvic floor that also stretches the back can help in more ways than one.

How to do it: Lie on your back with a foam roller underneath you. Gently roll back and forth so you feel the back and spine being massaged. You can try extending your arms behind your head for an added stretch. Engage the pelvic muscles as you do this by thinking about pulling them up and into your body.

Repeat: Roll back and forth for about a minute.

Why it works: The pelvic floor is much more activated at rest when the spine is straight rather than slumped. Working the back to improve posture will help the pelvic muscles do their job even when you’re not thinking about them.

Bonus: This exercise feels great after a long day sitting at a computer.

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Think you might have an overactive bladder?

Nobody wants their organs to be working overtime, but the truth is that having an overactive bladder is a pretty common condition, and, unfortunately, one that can make life a bit difficult. Perhaps you’ve heard about it; perhaps you’ve been trying to figure out whether your body’s working the way it should and whether what’s happening is normal. The good news is that, frequently, a doctor can easily diagnose an overactive bladder and suggest some solutions for living with one.

Symptoms of an overactive bladder

Of course, everyone needs to pee multiple times a day, but there are some signs to look out for if you suspect an overactive bladder. In particular, you might be experiencing an overactive bladder if you:

get really strong, sudden urges to urinate—and sometimes can’t make it to the bathroom in time
pee more than eight times a day (without drinking tons of fluids)
regularly wake up multiple times in the night to go to the bathroom

If you’re leaking when doing things like laughing, sneezing, or working out, you might be experiencing a different kind of urinary incontinence called stress incontinence, which occurs for slightly different reasons and has different treatments.

What do to do if you think you have an overactive bladder

It might sound obvious, but the best thing to do if you’re experiencing any of the symptoms above is to talk to a doctor about it. A lot of people don’t.

Older women often think it’s a normal part of aging and something they just have to deal with, and younger women are often too ashamed of the symptoms to bring it up with anyone. But trust us: you won’t be the first overactive bladder your doctor sees this year—probably not even this week, and maybe not even today. It can be easy to dismiss leaks as anomalies or fluke accidents—and there’s no doubt that seeing a doctor is a big step that can make the problem seem quite real. But being able to give your symptoms a real diagnosis—and figuring out a way to treat them—will give you peace of mind and make you feel so much better.

Remember, about 33 million Americans have overactive bladder, and about 30 percent of women live with overactive bladder symptoms—and that’s just according to statistics on those who report it. Often, people don’t want to talk about or admit that they’re having pee problems (and yeah, we totally get that). But while it can be embarrassing to be running to the bathroom every few minutes or being at a party and suddenly feeling a trickle running down your leg—we’ve been there!

While overactive bladder can certainly occur due to aging, one of the biggest misconceptions about the problem is that it only occurs in women over 40 or who are postmenopausal. In reality, about 17 percent of women over the age of 18 deal with it, and in one study with participants who had a median age of 22, 10 percent showed symptoms.

We’re throwing a lot of numbers at you here, but what they really boil down to is the fact that overactive bladder is actually quite common regardless of age.

Causes of an overactive bladder

So what is an overactive bladder, exactly? It’s a type of urinary incontinence that makes itself known by an uncontrollable urge to pee. It means you might leak or you might have to go to the bathroom constantly—or a combination of both. Overactive bladder happens when your bladder contracts more often than it needs to; usually, it only contracts when it’s full, but with overactive bladder, it contracts more frequently.

There’s no one reason why this occurs, and it can be due to anything from neurological problems to UTIs to medications to too much caffeine. It’s also quite common in women after giving birth, and obesity can also increase the risk. But regardless of the cause—which often remains a mystery even when overactive bladder is diagnosed—there’s no doubt that overactive bladder disrupts your life and, frankly, isn’t welcome.

After all, if anything should be overactive it should be you: working hard, going out, exercising, spending time with friends and family. So knowing what an overactive bladder’s all about and finding the right solutions that work for you is really important. And so is knowing that you’re not alone.

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A guide to overactive bladder solutions

Some types of urinary incontinence are caused by a so-called overactive bladder, which can increase how often you feel the need to pee or makes that urge particularly urgent—sometimes before you can get to a bathroom in time. Luckily, an overactive bladder is often exacerbated by dietary or lifestyle habits, which, when altered, can help in managing your symptoms. Often, these overactive bladder solutions do the trick—but if they don’t, many women also resort to pharmaceutical or surgical options.

Lifestyle-related overactive bladder solutions

Scheduled pee breaks. Keeping a bladder diary can help you track how often and how much you pee, or “void”; when you feel urges or can’t control them; and whether any food, drink, or activity feels particularly problematic. Use your diary to plan your trips to the bathroom. For example, if you know that you usually have to go shortly after drinking coffee, make sure you know where the restroom is when you’re enjoying your joe. Train your bladder to empty every hour, say, and then lengthen that period of time gradually.
Dietary restrictions. Acidic, spicy, or caffeinated foods and drinks are bladder irritants. Many women find that cutting such foods from their diets is a particularly effective overactive bladder solution. These can include citrus fruits and juices, tomato sauce, hot peppers, curries, tea and coffee, chocolate, and alcohol.
Improved regularity. Constipation places undue pressure on your bladder, which can cause more frequent urges and leaks. So eating fiber-rich foods or taking over-the-counter fiber supplements like Metamucil or Benefiber can be an easy fix.
Quitting smoking. Cigarette smoke is particularly irritating for the bladder, and coughing—as many smokers do—can also put pressure on the bladder, leading to leaks
Muscle exercises. Often, bladder leaks are caused by a weakening of the pelvic floor muscles due to age, childbirth, or pregnancy. Doing regular Kegels can help those muscles keep urine where it belongs, and bladder muscle exercises can decrease the urge to void.
Weight management. Extra weight can place pressure on the bladder, which can also lead to urges and leaks. Studies have found that being overweight (BMI 25-29.9) or obese (BMI >30) is a major risk factor for urinary incontinence. In one study, weight loss of 8 percent over six months led to 47 percent fewer weekly incontinence episodes. Managing your weight might not cure overactive bladder, but it can certainly relieve some of the symptoms.
Pads and liners. Wearing absorbent pads or liners can help avoid an embarrassing situation. There are many products out there made to serve a variety of needs, depending on your frequency and volume of leaks. Urinary incontinence pads are specially designed for urine’s unique viscosity and composition, so be sure to invest in a pack rather than relying on period pads.

Pharmaceutical overactive bladder solutions

Prescription drugs. A class of drugs called anticholinergics can control muscle spasms in the bladder that make you feel an urge to pee. Talk to your doctor about whether such drugs are right for you. They include oxybutynin, dicyclomine, propantheline, fesoterodine, tolterodine, and solifenacin.
Over-the-counter options.The Oxytrol patch is the only anticholinergic drug that’s available over the counter, and it helps relax bladder muscles, decreasing urge. AZO Bladder Health is another option available at any drugstore that uses natural, drug-free ingredients to tone bladder muscles for better control.
Botox. Botox is popular for smoothing wrinkles, but it’s also a useful overactive bladder solution. Injections into the bladder wall can relax the bladder muscle and decrease its spasms.

Surgical overactive bladder solutions

Nerve stimulation. If all else fails, some doctors may recommend surgery as an overactive bladder solution. One popular option is nerve stimulation, in which a small device is inserted beneath the skin to send electrical pulses to the pelvic floor. This can help those muscles strengthen, which in turn can lead to fewer leaks.
Bladder augmentation. While this is a fairly invasive procedure, it can serve as a last resort. In this surgery, part of the bowel is used to expand the bladder’s capacity.

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Leaks and bounds

About 12 miles into a marathon training run, I felt something damp along my thigh: Either I was sweating profusely or peeing. A quick crotch check confirmed the latter. I was pissing myself. In public. And I could not stop. But I did what any dedicated runner would do—I finished up the last few miles of my workout, wet buns and all.

Fortunately, the running gods were on my side that day. I was sporting black spandex leggings and it was raining, so no one knew I was leaving a tinkle trail through Central Park. But nevertheless, I was mortified—and confused. I was 29, had never given birth, and wasn’t even that desperate for a bathroom. Why had my bladder given up on me?

As soon as I got home (and showered), I turned to Dr. Google. I was relieved to find I’m not the only runner with this problem. One study shows that more than 45 percent of elite female athletes—including runners—experience stress incontinence when they exercise, likely because the repeated impact of slamming your feet into concrete affects the pelvic floor. I’m miles and miles away from elite status, but it’s reassuring to know that top marathoners also #RunWet.

Many runners and other athletes who experience incontinence manage their problems with pads they wear while they exercise or with activewear and underwear that’s specially designed to absorb liquid and mask odor.

Luckily I didn’t have to explore long-term solutions, because the issue seemed to disappear as soon as it started. But four years later, as I’m training for another marathon, the pee problem is back on my mind.

While I haven’t had another Central Park incident, I’ve noticed an increased urge to go, both during and after workouts. I’ve tried doing Kegels to help with the issue, and I should probably schedule an appointment with a doctor, but for now, I’ve come up with a not-so-scientific plan to (fingers crossed) keep me dry during training. I mentally map out public restrooms along my running routes before heading out and then slurp from my water bottle only when dehydration seems imminent (which, I know, is not ideal). I still spend long runs pondering what I’ll do if my bladder revolts yet again during the big race. The obvious answer would be to duck into a porta-potty, but I’ve worked hard to train for my goal time, and stopping could add on minutes.

I’ll likely keep on pounding the pavement while leaking, chafing—all of it—because I know that as I approach that sweet finish line after 26.2 miles, a little incontinence isn’t going to slow me down.

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Perimenopause came early—and with it UI

“So, I pee when I sneeze now. At 36. Awesome.”

That was the thought that kept rolling through my head when it became apparent that urinary incontinence was just something I’d have to get used to. Menopause happens early in my family, and when the rolling hot flashes, night sweats, and other delightful perimenopause signs started to show up when I was 34, I figured I’d be done with the whole mess by 40.

For the uninitiated, perimenopause is that charming time leading up to the end of menstruation characterized by all manner of changes to one’s cycle. Estrogen levels decrease, resulting in irregular periods, bouts of crying or irrational anger, and a reduction in muscle tone in the pelvic muscles. And with decreased muscle tone comes stress urinary incontinence: A sudden squat or bout of coughing suddenly results in leakage.

Well, I’m 40 now, and although the hot flashes haven’t stopped, the occasional bladder leakage when I cough or sneeze has. It didn’t just stop on its own, though. No, it took a few years of trial and error to sort out the right combination of solutions that worked for me. But I’ve been free of incontinence for almost a year now, and the program I adhere to, mostly rooted in my diet, has helped a bunch of other hormone-related issues as well.

When I discussed my perimenopause signs and miseries with my naturopath, we turned to my diet to try to find a holistic approach that could alleviate as many aspects as possible. She encouraged me to change my diet from the lacto-ovo vegetarianism and occasional veganism I’d adhered to for nearly two decades to the autoimmune paleo protocol (AIP) diet.

This diet eliminates allergens and inflammatory foods such as dairy, legumes, and nightshade vegetables and instead focuses on organic vegetables, meat, fish, fruit, and fermented products such as sauerkraut and kimchi. This eliminates inflammation in the gut (and bladder!), which is said to help the body repair itself.

It was a complete lifestyle change, especially since I had to cut back on coffee and reintroduce animal protein. But after adhering to this diet for a few months, I noticed an extraordinary difference in how I felt. Not only did it decrease the physical ailments and perimenopause signs, but it also lessened the emotional rollercoaster of anxiety and rage.

I also created an herbal tincture with cleavers and corn silk, as these plants are known to tone and strengthen the urinary tract. Cleavers also help soothe overactive bladders, and a daily cup of cleaver tea has really helped me. The irritating bladder “tickle” decreased after about six weeks on the program, and after 11 months of adhering to all of this quite stringently, my stress incontinence was eliminated completely. Additionally, my arthritis lessened by about 90 percent, and even my period has become more regular.

When it comes to issues such as stress incontinence, many people are quick to turn to prescribed medications and an overload of Kegel exercises, but addressing one’s diet can have a monumental effect on overall well-being. A lot of people think of food as just filler instead of something that nourishes us on a cellular level. I was startled to see how much better I felt simply by dropping a few foods from my diet and introducing a few new ones, and it made me wonder how my health could have improved had I taken these steps a decade ago.

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What are bladder supports, anyways?

If you’re springing a leak when you laugh, sneeze, or exercise, you’re probably among the millions of women experiencing stress urinary incontinence (SUI). There are a lot of options out there to help manage SUI symptoms—pads, liners, and Kegel exercises among them. But one solution that’s gotten a lot of traction lately is the bladder support. So if you’ve been googling “what are bladder supports”, we’ve pulled together all the information you need to know about what a bladder support is and how (and how not) to use one.

What are bladder supports?

Well, that depends. The term “bladder support” refers to a nonsurgical intervention used to stop or limit bladder leaks. Most often, it’s a device placed inside the vagina to press up against the bladder and urethra, mimicking the pressure of a muscle in the area. A bladder support is usually a tampon-like product that, once inserted into the vagina, presses the urethra shut. Essentially, a bladder support stops leaks before they happen. “Bladder support” can also sometimes refer more specifically to pessaries, which are small, plastic devices—often rings—that are fitted into the vagina by a doctor. Pessaries have been used for centuries to hold pelvic organs in place and prevent pelvic organ prolapse, and they can also help mitigate SUI to some extent.

Why does my bladder need “support”?

Urinary incontinence happens for a number of reasons, but it often just comes down to unwanted pressure being placed on the bladder (for instance by sneezing or laughing) or an irritation that causes a pretty-much-constant urge to urinate. SUI is compounded by the fact that muscles in the pelvis don’t always do their job of holding the urethra closed until it’s time to pee. In some women, these muscles are stretched or loosened due to pregnancy, childbirth, weight gain, age, or many other factors. Doctors might recommend muscle-strengthening exercises, medication, or surgery (in particularly serious cases), but a bladder support is a popular option that can work wonders for SUI, especially for light or infrequent leaks.

What kinds of bladder supports are out there?

Uresta is a plastic bladder support that gets inserted like a tampon, but it’s not disposable. You can control when it’s in or out (for example, only use it when you exercise or only at work for peace of mind). Uresta comes in three different sizes and needs to be replaced once a year. Impressa is another easy-to-use bladder support, made by Poise, which also makes urinary incontinence pads and liners. Impressa has only been around for a couple of years, but it’s got plenty going for it: It has three different sizes, looks and works pretty much just like a tampon, and is disposable (one can be worn for up to 12 hours). Once inside the vagina, it pops open to press against the urethra. While using a tampon for this purpose can also work in some cases, Impressa has a little bit more bulk for that extra pressure to tightly shut the urethra. A variety of pessaries are out there, too, but you should talk to your doctor about whether and what kind might be right for you.

How much do bladder supports cost?

A 10-pack of Poise Impressa bladder supports runs about $15 at a drugstore (so if you use one every day, it’ll run you about $547 for a year’s supply.) Uresta costs about $300 for one bladder support device that lasts a year.

Can I use bladder supports if I’m pregnant?

No. Even though so many women start experiencing SUI when they’re pregnant, Impressa and Uresta shouldn’t be used until after the baby is born (if you still need it). Luckily, there are other awesome products to keep you feeling dry while the baby’s cooking like liners or absorbent maternity underwear.

Are bladder supports comfortable and safe?

Usually! Both Uresta and Impressa come in a variety of sizes and offer “sizing kits” to make sure you’re using the right one. Once you figure out your size, both types of bladder supports should feel like a tampon, meaning that you shouldn’t really feel it after insertion. However, there are always exceptions, and quite a few women have reported discomfort with Impressa. If you’re feeling uncomfortable with a bladder support, stop using it and give your doctor a call. And as with any object inserted into the vagina (including tampons), beware of toxic shock syndrome, even though no connection between TSS and bladder supports has been found.

Are there any times I shouldn’t use bladder supports?

Though bladder supports can work wonders to stop leaks day or night, whether you’re running a marathon or running errands, they shouldn’t be used during sex, when you’re pregnant, when you’re on your period, if you’ve had recent vaginal surgery, or if you have discharge, dryness, or an infection. They’re totally fine to keep inside you when you’re peeing, pooping, or sleeping, though. And bladder supports are also really only useful for SUI, so if you have urge incontinence or overactive bladder, they might not do the trick.

What are alternatives to bladder supports?

Bladder supports are only one of many products out there that can keep you feeling fresh and dry as you go about your day. If you’re looking for something less invasive or maybe discovered that bladder supports aren’t quite your style, try something else! There are disposable pads and liners designed specifically for UI, cloth pads that you can wash and reuse, absorbent underwear that looks like the real deal, or little devices that will help you perfect your Kegels and bring your pelvic muscles back to fighting form.

How does Poise Impressa work?

One popular form of bladder supports, Poise Impressa, works in the same way as any other bladder support. One reader wrote an entire review about her experience with the product...you can check it out here!

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Finding inner (pelvic) strength

Many women with urinary incontinence benefit from a multitude of treatment options. From medication and bladder diaries to pelvic floor therapy, there’s no shortage of ideas for what can help women feel more in control of their symptoms. Of course, not every solution works for every woman or every manifestation of UI, which means everyone has her own journey. My UI case is a bit more extreme than others’, as I have a combination of two types of UI, brought on by a variety of conditions, including interstitial cystitis (IC). At a recent doctor’s appointment, I failed the voiding tests and my bladder diary showed that I was indeed the mess I thought I was, often urinating upwards of 18 times a day. (For reference, that’s about three times the amount folks with healthy bladders go.) My doctor and I talked about a few UI management options. I had heard good things about certain medications, but my body has a hard time even with Benadryl or any Advil stronger than 300 mg. TENS therapy doesn’t sound like any fun, and since I can’t even trust myself with an electric toothbrush, anything involving putting electronic devices under my skin isn’t really something I’m ready to explore. We both agreed that (another) surgery would be my last resort. And so we decided that pelvic floor therapy would be my best option.

However, I wasn’t sure what I had just agreed to. My doctor didn’t really know what my specific PT sessions would involve, as every course of pelvic floor therapy treatment is different, depending on the patient’s needs. Pelvic floor physical therapy involves multiple techniques that strengthen and stretch the pelvic floor muscles to relieve symptoms of a variety of diagnoses, including UI, IC, and chronic pelvic pain. For UI, specifically, it helps strengthen the weakened muscles that support the bladder, reducing incidents of stress and urge incontinence, which are the two forms of UI I have. It also helps train the motor memory of the muscles to reduce feelings of urgency. My doctor explained that the techniques include muscle strength tests (internal and external), deep breathing, yoga stretches, and biofeedback. Not knowing how else I could strengthen my pelvic floor outside of Kegels (which I dislike—who actually enjoys them?!), I trusted my doctor’s recommendation and referral for the woman who would hopefully cure all of my woes.

Walking into the office for my first appointment felt like I was going on a vagina audition. I had ridiculous thoughts like, “What if she doesn’t like my vagina? Did I wash up down there enough?” as if I were prepping for a date I knew would lead to third base and maybe even round home. My imagination also went a little bit wild: In my head bounced images of Ben Wa balls and Yoni Eggs, my knowledge of which I attribute to Freeform’s The Bold Type. Against my own usual instincts, I hadn’t Googled the techniques. I figured I would find out when I found out, come what may. With my heart pounding in my chest and my eyes blurry with all the markings of an imminent panic attack, I entered her exam room. What had I gotten myself into?

Fortunately, she started by telling me. The therapist first asked me questions, showed me diagrams, and gave me explanations for why I felt the way I did. Telling me about herself as she went along, she explained all of her procedures. She was gentle, patient, and thorough. I learned more from her in 30 minutes about my pain and why I have it, my urges to go, and what my body is really doing down there than I had learned in the more than three years since this started. I was immediately at ease and thought, “This won’t be so bad! She gets me!” Finally, I felt understood, and that squashed my anxiety—until she put a sheet on the exam table, gave me a paper sheet to cover with, and said, “Undress from the waist down.”

I made myself as comfortable as one can be while watching a stranger lube up a gloved finger and reach under a sheet. Using her fingers, she showed me where each of my internal “trigger points” are. Trigger points are small balls of tightened fibers inside muscles that are themselves painful but also tend to refer pain to other places. For example, pressing on a certain spot on the shoulder muscles can send pain down an arm or into a wrist. The pelvic floor (especially the vagina) is made of tons of these fibers, and due to various traumas in my life, mine was packed with trigger points. I’m pretty sure I saw my therapist’s eyes light up like she had found buried treasure in there.

The large number of trigger points in my pelvic floor relates directly to my pain levels and my UI. My pelvic floor is “guarded” because everything inside of me is so tightly wound and balled up, and I am in a lot of pain most days. As a result, I have urges to go even if I don’t need to. Or in other cases, I won’t notice I have to go until it is almost too late and my muscles to try to constrict to control my bladder even more. This tightness can cause me to leak or expel a “spray” when I do get to the bathroom. In fact, having to hold my urine for any length of time likely also contributes to the creation of more trigger points. So in many ways, this is an endless cycle, and thus the need for therapy to help alleviate what it can.

Granted, having the therapist point out and work on eliminating some of my trigger points was painful. But with each press of her fingers, I could feel little knots dissolving inside of me. They felt strange, sending little bursts of warmth through me and sometimes referring pain to one of my legs, my back, or my abdomen. It was the weirdest sensation, but as each trigger point melted away, I felt a slight release in tension. The therapist said that meant they were going away. Naturally, with each one that disappeared, she warned that another could form in another spot, so it will take multiple appointments to get rid of all of them. The sessions can be very painful; I walk out of the doctor’s office a little slower but also feeling a little looser inside. She says that means it’s working.

In the month since I have started therapy, I’ve kept a bladder diary that shows improvement in my voiding skills (something I never thought I would type), and I am not leaking as much. I’m really glad my original imaginings weren’t my reality—right now, Ben Wa balls and Yoni Eggs aren’t on my must-have list. Rather, I am doing stretches at home to help soften and strengthen my pelvic floor. Speaking of which, I no longer feel tight all the time down there, and I have started to resent Kegels less, since I understand the reason they hurt so much is because my vagina is just ready to fight anything that disturbs its state of calm.

I left my first session empowered and educated on the inner workings of my pelvic floor, and now I even have a little hope that I won’t always feel like this. My pelvic floor therapist says once my muscles are stronger and everything down there doesn’t hurt as much, I may even be able to send my UI and IC into remission. If all of this can eventually lead to some reprieve, no matter how short, I am more than excited to see what’s next.

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