Sick of bladder issues


As if feeling sick wasn’t bad enough, incontinence makes being sick so much worse.

 

It was supposed to be a nice day trip, exploring historic Southern Maryland with my family. But my stomach — and my bladder! — had other plans. Hit with a sudden bout of food poisoning, I stumbled into a public restroom stall, relieved that I had made it before I vomited. Relieved for a moment, that is, until I realized there was no way I could throw up. Not here, not now, not like this.

 

I was so worried about this because I suffer from stress incontinence. Standing over a toilet and heaving would put my bladder under more stress than it could handle. If I threw up in the wrong position, I’d urinate all over myself, and I hadn’t brought a change of clothing with me. I couldn’t do it, no way.

 

Then again, my stomach couldn’t have cared less about my dignity.

 

An illness that causes nausea, coughing, or sneezing is miserable for anyone, but for me, stress incontinence makes being sick so much worse. Those symptoms put stress on my bladder, causing it to leak slightly but uncontrollably.

 

Not only do I feel horrible from the illness itself, but I have to worry about embarrassing myself as well. Especially since it’s not something I want anyone to know about. I don’t want to discuss it, not with my doctors and not with my family. I just want to keep my problems to myself, or better yet, to not have them at all.

 

The day trip debacle wasn’t the only time that stress incontinence multiplied the indignities of being ill. Last year, I had pneumonia and was coughing constantly; I was confined to my bed and too sick to go to the store to buy protection pads. There was no way that I was going to ask a family member to do it for me, so I ordered them next-day from Amazon. Sure, it cost a bit more, but the boost to my dignity was worth it. (Until, of course, Amazon based so many recommendations off that purchase that I thought I’d never hear the end of it!)

 

I’m not sure why a condition that is so common is so embarrassing. It’s not under my control. My incontinence is a result of the type 1 diabetes I’ve had for more than 30 years, which affects the nerves in my urinary tract, weakening my bladder’s resistance to stress. To top things off, a pregnancy worsened the condition, as it does in many women.

 

Why is something that affects 30-40 percent of middle-aged women harder to talk about than pregnancy, diabetes, or my period? Maybe because none of those other conditions has ever led me to a bathroom stall, frantically trying to find a way to avoid coming out covered in urine or vomit or both (a fate I was narrowly able to avoid on that trip, thank goodness).

 

Sometimes it feels like my body is conspiring against me. Even a simple cold turns into something that needs to be carefully managed when it’s stacked on top of diabetes and stress incontinence. I wish that I didn’t have to bring protection pads with me when I travel or pack extra clothes in the car for unplanned emergencies.

 

But then again, my body is just like anything else I value: it needs to be treated right. I did eventually talk to my doctor, and he was able to give me some good advice. Although I can’t easily rid myself of stress incontinence, I can reduce its impact through weight loss, yoga, and other strengthening exercises. I can carefully control my blood sugar to reduce additional nerve damage. And I can be thankful that, despite its embarrassing quirks, my body treats me as well as it does.

 

 


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August editor’s note


Many of us have spent years dealing with symptoms: planning bathroom routes, test-driving various brands of pads, stashing extra underwear in our purses—you know the drill. But all of that comes after the fact—after we’ve already listened to our bodies, already figured out that we’ve got UI or overactive bladder, after we’ve already gone to doctor after doctor trying to find the right solution.

 

Yet even if it won’t go away entirely, there are things we can do to get ahead of the curve, to prevent some of the symptoms of UI from getting worse or to nip them in the bud in the first place. And what better time than the end of summer—the back-to-school season, the first hints of sweater weather (soon, I hope?)—to evaluate our habits and our bodies and get a fresh start.

 

Ultimately, it comes down to listening to your own body, but this month, we’re focusing on solutions, prevention, and getting ahead of the curve—no matter where you are in your UI journey. First up, we’re spotlighting pelvic floor exercise. Then, one writer delves into the controversial world of bladder sling surgery. We also take a look at some lifestyle changes that can make a big difference when it comes to preventing UI symptoms from flaring up, and we give a step-by-step guide to training your bladder to empty on a schedule. We’re delighted to have a guest post from Jenna Ryan, founder of Uqora, about UTIs, how they relate to UI, and how to keep them at bay. Finally, we take a look at the humble pumpkin seed—a surprisingly powerful superfood that can work wonders for an overactive bladder.

 

So as we welcome fall, we’re going to stay ahead of the curve, taking care of ourselves the best we can.

 

Till next month,
Chelsea

 


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Pumpkin seeds: The magical bladder control fruit?


Overactive bladder (OAB) affects about 1 in 3 women. About 17 percent of women over 18 years old experience it, and so even though the symptoms advance with age, it’s by no means just an affliction of the elderly. You might know it by its hallmark symptoms: really strong, frequent urges to go to the bathroom, waking up in the middle of the night to pee (also known as nocturia), and peeing more than eight times a day.

 

There are plenty of solutions to help mitigate the symptoms (including bladder training, dietary restrictions, and prescription drugs). But recent studies actually show that pumpkin seeds are also an effective method for maintaining bladder control.

 

You probably don’t think about pumpkin seeds too often: Maybe you roast them occasionally or add them to granola, or experience them as pepitas in Latin-American food. Or maybe you just scoop them out of your jack-o-lantern in October and dump them in the trash. But pumpkin seeds are an ancient antidote to a number of bladder-control and urinary troubles, dating back to use in the 16th century in Europe and even earlier by Native Americans. Recent studies corroborate those ancient remedies, showing that pumpkin seed oil significantly decreases bladder control issues in patients with OAB.

 

How do pumpkin seeds contribute to bladder control?

What’s so magical about pumpkin seeds, then? It turns out that the little guys are chock-full of vitamins, linoleic acid, oleic acid, microelements, and zinc, magnesium, and other minerals—which are all generally good for your body but are especially useful when it comes to bladder control.

 

Here are some of the ways that pumpkin seeds have been proven to improve bladder control:

 

  • Pumpkin seed oil decreases the number of times people with OAB have to pee
  • Pumpkin seeds help rebuild estrogen in the bladder (which, when lost due to menopause, for instance, confuses the bladder and leads to the constant urge), reducing OAB symptoms by 79 percent in one study
  • Some pumpkin seed extracts promote tissue building, which strengthens the pelvic floor
  • A mixture of pumpkin seed extract and soybean extract were shown to significantly reduce UI symptoms and nocturia in perimenopausal women
  • Pumpkin seed oil increases the body’s production of nitric oxide, which is necessary to limit the bladder’s activity and maintain appropriate bladder control

 

Not only does this superfood contribute to bladder control in women, but pumpkin seeds also help mitigate prostate issues in men and also help promote bladder health in people experiencing irritation and other pee-related problems.

 

One thing to note, though, is that pumpkin seeds are not recommended for pregnant women looking for bladder control solutions. They’re not necessarily harmful, but there simply isn’t enough information yet about their effects on pregnancy—but stay tuned!

 

Where can I find pumpkin seeds for bladder control?

The nice thing about pumpkin seeds is that they’re easy to access and certainly don’t require a prescription or a doctor’s visit. You can buy pumpkin seeds at any grocery store (check the nut aisle or the produce section), and they can be eaten raw or roasted, with or without the husk.

 

You can also buy straight-up pumpkin seed oil in caplet form at any pharmacy, or products like AZO Bladder Control, which incorporate pumpkin seed extract.

 

If you just want to add bladder control as a perk of your daily snacking regimen, though, pumpkin seeds are a great way to go. Here’s a list of 12 recipes using pumpkin seeds, from easy granola and trail mix to more ambitious soups and casseroles.

 


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Know before you go: Bladder sling surgery


“I thought it would bounce back,” Robin Barnhart says of her body, specifically her bladder and its trouble with urinary incontinence. After delivering two babies in just over a year, Barnhart, a 42-year-old preschool teacher, experienced leakage from her bladder that progressively got worse over a period of 10 years. “I would leak all the time,” Barnhart says, “God forbid I got a cold or went to a comedy show.”

 

Barnhart found herself avoiding activities she used to enjoy, like dance classes or jumping up and down with her students in her classroom. “I was purposely saying, ‘I can’t do that,’” she says, and she became increasingly unhappy with the lack of results from her other efforts.

 

Over the years, besides doing Kegels, she’d also been to several doctors. She’d tried physical therapy and pelvic floor therapy, and even saw one doctor who recommended a hysterectomy, which she didn’t go through with because her insurance changed.

 

On the recommendation of another friend, Barnhart ultimately went to a urogynecologist, a doctor trained in the diagnoses and treatment of women with pelvic floor problems. The doctor had her squat over a pad and cough, and when a puddle resulted, the two scheduled a mesh mid-urethral bladder sling surgery for the soonest date possible.

 

An average of 145,000 U.S. women have the surgery each year, and like many of them, Barnhart saw the surgery as a last resort. And for good reason: there’s a lot of confusion and myths about bladder sling surgery—and, recently, many high-profile cases against it.

 

“It’s disconcerting how vague people can be when they talk about mesh,” says Dr. Brett Vassallo, a specialist in female pelvic medicine and reconstructive pelvic surgery outside of Chicago, IL. “And doctors are guilty of this. We’re often not specific enough when we talk.”

 

So let’s be specific. In a nutshell, sling surgery is a solution for stress urinary incontinence (SUI), which allows leaks to happen due to weakened pelvic floor muscles around the urethra and opening of the bladder. The mesh sling is inserted into the body and supports the urethra, essentially doing the job that the pelvic floor muscles no longer can.

 

Prior to mesh slings, there were two main surgeries performed for female SUI, and several doctors still perform them. The most common is the Burch procedure, which involves four sutures, two on either side of the bladder neck, which are then sewn into the back of the pubic bone. The other surgery is with bladder neck slings made from fascial tissue obtained from the patient herself or from a cadaveric source. Both the Burch and the traditional bladder neck fascial sling have higher complication rates than the modern mid-urethral sling.

 

Today, three main types of mesh mid-urethral sling procedures exist: retropubic (TVT), transobturator (TOT), and single-incision. The sling itself is made of a small piece of polypropylene mesh. Over time, the body’s tissues grow into the mesh and fix it in place. Both the TVT and TOT surgeries make small incisions in the vagina to guide the sling in place, though some versions of the surgery begin laparoscopically in the abdomen and exit through the vagina. The TVT technique weaves the mesh under the urethra in a U shape with each end of the mesh brought up behind the pubic bone. The TOT approach passes the mesh under the urethra and then through the spaces on each side between the labia and creases in the thighs. Once the mesh is inserted, the doctor tests for any bladder issues and makes sure the sling is in place.

 

It’s important to know which procedures a doctor performs and how he or she was trained, as not all doctors will have been trained in all procedures. Different types of surgeries are better for different types of bodies, too.

 

Post-surgery recovery is two to four weeks, with recommendations to stay away from heavy lifting for up to 12 weeks. According to Dr. Vassallo and other sources, overall complication rates from mid-urethral slings are low, and mesh complications such as mesh exposure, pain, and excessive tension in the sling, which causes difficulty voiding, occur in the 1-2 percent range. The TVT procedure is more likely to result in a bladder puncture (cystotomy), and the TOT is more likely (than the TVT) to cause chronic groin pain and/or pain during intercourse due to the mesh puncturing the wall of the vagina.

 

A few cases of sling erosion have also been reported. One example is from Tracy Goodman, a 50-year-old mom in central Oregon. After losing significant weight, Goodman found that “I was able to hold my urine, but I was having accidents.” Indeed, her sling had “collapsed and needed to be shored up” due to the internal changes in her body. She ended up having a second surgery to resituate the sling, and though the complication was a hardship, she says she would do it again. Dr. Vassallo, too, has corrected similar complications, but finds that “dealing with those complications is an easy thing.” Overall, existing studies show an 88 to 95 percent success rate in correcting SUI with the sling procedure.

 

Still, those reported complications and the fact that in 2008 the FDA issued a public health warning about mesh materials has frightened some people away from bladder sling surgery.

But according to Harvard Medical School, “The largest problem involved a specific brand of polypropylene mesh called OB Tape, and that brand is no longer on the market.” In addition, many of the notorious mesh complications have had to do with transvaginal mesh (TVM), which is used for prolapse repair, not incontinence treatment. With that different kind of mesh surgery, way more mesh is placed inside the body with far more opportunities for puncture and complications.

 

Nonetheless, 48,000 women have recently sued mesh manufacturers Boston Scientific after experiencing injuries from mesh used in UI treatment, and a recent report revealed that the origins of the plastic used for the device are dubious and of inferior quality (although Boston Scientific denies the claims).  

 

For women considering the surgery, though, it’s vital to choose a doctor who’s a specialist in women’s pelvic medicine for any type of mesh treatment—whether for prolapse or SUI. A recent New York Times article cautioned about marketers and hack lawyers who try to persuade women to have their mesh, no matter the type, removed with lures of class-action lawsuit windfalls. Dr. Vassallo knows that “doctors have made livings taking mesh out unnecessarily because it’s a revenue stream.” A reliable and specialized doctor will know how to test for SUI and how to weigh the risks of surgery. Goodman, who had more than one condition in need of repair, maintains that “anything is better than the complete loss of control and having things not be where they should be,” but she also she told me about another friend whose surgery was botched and the woman is still suffering with severe health issues.

 

For Barnhart, however, the benefits have outweighed the risks. Before the sling, she never had the urge to urinate and now she knows when to go. She’s more confident and willing to try new things, like rock climbing, an activity she could not have imagined while she was still experiencing UI. “I didn’t realize how much I was missing out on. I’m even interested in my partner again,” she says with a laugh.

 


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Living with chronic incontinence


I’ve had severe, chronic incontinence for over a decade. I’m not talking about the kind of leaking that comes when you’re pregnant or laughing or sneezing so hard that you lose it (though those types are certainly uncomfortable and inconvenient as well). In my case, for no reason that doctors and specialists can figure out, following back surgery 12 years ago, my bladder decided to develop a mind of its own. It now subjects me to full-blown deluges of urine before I have a chance to get to a bathroom. One minute I’m fine, the next I feel a sudden and powerful urgency to go, and—whoosh.  Standing after sitting for a long time—while I’ve been working at my desk for example—is especially bad; I almost never get there in time.

 

I know that somewhere between my brain and my bladder there has been a severe breakdown in communication over which I have no control. Medications have no effect, and there are no observable physical issues that can be fixed by surgery or any of the other usual interventions.

 

The first time I totally lost control of my bladder I was, I admit, completely panicked. I woke up one morning, prior to my back surgery, and my lower back and legs were having such intense spasms that I couldn’t stand up. Then I felt myself lose control and pee all over myself. I was already in tears, and this was the last straw. But it didn’t happen again, so I decided it was only a one-time thing.

 

Later, however, after my surgery, it returned. For several years, I had progressively greater degrees of leaking, and I wore super extra-long overnight pads all the time; they weren’t perfect, but I got by. I don’t remember when exactly I started wearing incontinence underwear, but it got to the point where the pads couldn’t do the job. The turning point may have been when I was visiting my daughter in New York City; we were in Times Square and had just bought theater tickets for that night. I already find Times Square uncomfortable because it’s too much sensory input, so to then have a mishap and end up peeing and leaking all over myself was too much. I had to get out of there, go home, and change clothes. Embarrassment, frustration, anger—it was a perfect trifecta of incontinence misery. I’ve learned some lessons, though: If the same thing were to happen to me today, I’d have another pair of pants tucked into the bag that also carries my extra underwear.

 

The ability to have some control over my incontinence means I’m not embarrassed by it, I’m mostly just annoyed. I’ve never felt the need to hide it, but on the other hand, it’s not the kind of thing I announce to the world. It seems to be an unspoken rule that it’s something to be kept strictly secret, like a skeleton in the family closet, probably because of the embarrassment many of its sufferers feel and, equally as devastating, its association with being old. And let’s be honest, smelly. I was never embarrassed to buy undergarments in stores, but recently one of my closer friends said she didn’t know I had incontinence until she read about it in a piece I wrote. She said she thought I would have told her, but it had never occurred to me because it hadn’t naturally come up in conversation!

 

Although my condition doesn’t embarrass me and I don’t hide it, at the same time, no one likes to walk around with a huge wet stain on her rear end smelling of eau d’urine. The worst things about this condition are that it’s uncomfortable, a nuisance, and, what most people don’t realize, really expensive. I go through a lot of absorbent underwear in a week, and because they’re not considered a medical device or prescription, they’re not covered by Medicare or insurance. Even buying them in as close to bulk as I can, I still pay over $90 a month. For a chronic problem that luckily isn’t painful, this part really hurts.

 

In the scope of things, I know there are many much worse problems to have. It’s just pee, after all. And I’m lucky to live in a place and time where someone invented disposable feminine “discreet underwear,” without which I couldn’t survive. My incontinence doesn’t keep me tied to my house, which it might if I didn’t have a product that gave me the freedom to go anywhere and do whatever I want without fear of accidents. Learning to live with incontinence isn’t a choice, but deciding how to live with it is. I live with severe incontinence and nobody knows unless I tell them—and that shows just how lucky I am.

 

 


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Expert Q&A: Linda Cardozo


You wrote the book on incontinence in primary care and female incontinence in practice. If someone suspects she may have UI, what’s the best course of action to take?

 

Most women know if they have urinary incontinence, they don’t just suspect it, although some women may confuse urinary incontinence with vaginal discharge or perspiration. If they are concerned that they are leaking urine and that it is wetting or staining their underwear or that they have had to resort to the use of pantiliners or pads, then they should either use a self-help guide, which can be downloaded from the internet, or they should seek advice from their GP or the local continence advisory service [Editor’s note: These services primarily exist in the UK or Australia. If you’re in the US, a doctor should be your go-to.]  If the urinary leakage only occurs whilst exercising, then it may be worth trying a continence tampon; several types are available on the internet.

 

What lifestyle factors can contribute to UI? Do you recommend avoiding them?

 

Many lifestyle factors contribute to urinary incontinence, especially excessive fluid intake, overweight and obesity, heavy lifting, high-impact exercise, constipation, and chronic cough.   Lifestyle changes can significantly improve urinary incontinence, so women should be advised to drink approximately a liter and half in 24 hours [about 50.7 ounces] (to include all of their fluids) and they should avoid caffeine-containing drinks such as tea, coffee, and chocolate. They should also avoid artificial sweeteners such as aspartame, which is in many low-calorie foods, and white and fizzy wines such as prosecco and champagne, which have a worse impact on lower urinary tract symptoms than other types of alcohol. Women who are overweight should be advised to try to lose weight, and if exercising is difficult because of their incontinence, then Weight Watchers or Slimming World may be able to help. Heavy lifting should be avoided whenever possible and high-impact aerobics or marathon running should be replaced by swimming or cycling. Those with constipation should be advised to improve their diet or take a laxative or suppository from time to time, and a chronic cough can be helped by treatment of asthma and other chest conditions or smoking cessation.

 

What demographic trends have you seen over the past few years or decades regarding who experiences UI and how they treat it?

 

Women of all ages suffer from urinary incontinence. The change that occurs over the years is the type of incontinence. Stress urinary incontinence, i.e. incontinence from coughing, sneezing, or effort or exercise, peaks in prevalence at the time of menopause and then declines again in later years as women become less active or have had the problem treated. Overactive bladder symptoms of urgency, urgency incontinence, frequency and nocturia increase gradually with increasing age. Other less common causes of urinary incontinence can occur at any age and need to be excluded prior to treatment of the more common conditions.  

 

How can a woman determine what the best treatment options will be for her? Is it mostly trial-and-error?

 

Conservative therapy is readily available. Pelvic floor exercises are best taught by a women’s health physiotherapist, but if this is not available then information can be downloaded from the internet, or smartphone apps are available to help. Bladder retraining can be undertaken by voiding by the clock rather than desire and increasing the intervals to increase bladder capacity and reduce overactive bladder symptoms.  

 

Where would you like to see the public conversation turn with regards to UI?

 

Over the last two decades, public awareness of urinary incontinence and what can be done to improve it have improved immensely. It is now possible to find information from many different sources including women’s magazines, social media, and the internet, so no woman should have to feel that she is ignorant or does not know what her management options are. However, if incontinence is more severe and therapy could be required, then women should access this from their GP. If they require further investigation or surgery, this should be undertaken in a specialist unit, and the GP will need to refer women to secondary or tertiary care.

 

 


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No such thing as TMI


Recently, my phone alerted me to a message on Facebook from an acquaintance, whom I’ll call Jessica. I had not talked to her in four years. I almost deleted the message, but the first line caught my attention:“Uh hey, Devon. How are you? I know we haven’t talked in, like, ages, but I, um…I need help, and you’re the first person I thought to ask about this….”

 

I settled in for a question about what pelvic floor prolapse feels like. This isn’t new. If there’s one thing that has been consistent in my 36 years on this planet, it’s that people come to me for an ear to hear and a heart to feel. I’ve become a resident expert on UI among my friends, who know that there is no such thing as TMI for me. If something is happening in their underpants that shouldn’t be, I usually know about it.

 

Jessica had felt pressure in her pelvis and noticed a slight bulge in the area of her perineum. She was also feeling a lot of frequent urges to use the restroom, but she found herself struggling each time she went, no matter if it was number one or two.

 

I knew how it felt to be in her shoes: scared because I had no idea what was happening (I experienced my second prolapse months after my first prolapse surgery), in discomfort and pain, totally betrayed by the failings of my body. After all, I had found my uterus coming out while in the shower, so I know what a mind-bend all of this can be.

 

I invited Jessica to call me. I could hear the trepidation in her voice. I did my best to soothe her fears about calling her doctor. I told her that she isn’t alone, that she could call me for anything she needed, and gave her the name of my amazing urogynecologist. I even offered to accompany her to her appointments if she needed, or to grab a cup of tea after she went, knowing that the world of pelvic floor prolapse is a lonely one a lot of the time.

 

Often, when someone comes to me regarding UI and other inconveniences, they’re embarrassed. We’re adults, we’ve been toilet trained for decades, and all of a sudden, we can’t control the one thing we are taught is the most important to control. I remember the kid who got picked on for peeing his pants all the time in second grade, and when this started to be my reality in my mid-thirties, I was absolutely mortified. My friends who confide in me have the same concerns. No one wants to wear pantiliners or adult incontinence underwear, and heaven forbid something not be strong enough to hold our leaks!

 

It’s also easy to be afraid when your body starts betraying you, and UI can feel like the ultimate betrayal. So many people worry about the options they have to manage it. They worry about how long it may last; for many, like me, it’s going to be a lifelong ordeal.

 

As the UI whisperer, I have found that the best way to fight fear is with some understanding and a lot of humor. UI doesn’t discriminate.  From pre-op preparations to post-op healing tips (get up and walk as soon as you can, your body will thank you), I talk about everything with everyone in as much detail and with as many laughs as possible. It seems to put people at ease if they know that I have been through it and have made it out intact (and with an additional parting gift of mesh inside me!).

 

When I was going through this at first, I was quite literally going it alone. No one I knew had dealt with UI on the scale that I was, thanks to those falling-out bits of mine, so I had no one to turn to with questions and fears.  Now I believe in living my life as the person I wish I’d had to talk to and trust when I needed it. If one person can benefit from the ordeals I have had to face, it’s worth it for me to share my stories and advice.

 

I wish UI wasn’t something so uncomfortable for women to discuss—it’s uncomfortable enough to live with! But I urge everyone dealing with pelvic floor prolapse or other UI-related issues to find someone to talk to, confide in unabashedly, and let you know that you’re not alone. It could be a wise friend, a counselor, a therapist, your neighbor, or a stranger online who just listens. Find that person, and if you’re comfortable with it, be that person for others. We call our life stories “narratives” because they’re stories to be told, narrated in our unique voices. Use that voice. Someone somewhere needs it, and it may surprise you how healing it can be to help others too.

 

 


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Changing the way we think about “adult diapers”


In 2016, Bloomberg Businessweek made a prediction that the adult diaper market was “about to take off,” with sales growing by 50 percent between 2015 and 2020. That’s partly because the baby boomer generation was aging into UI territory but also because UI is finally coming out of the shadows. It’s far more common than people think, with one in three women experiencing at some point in their lives.

 

And while the term “adult diapers” might call to mind enfeebled grandparents, it’s important to remember that young women also live with leaks. About a quarter of women aged 18 to 44 experience UI and rely on some combination of pads, liners, bladder supports, and yes, even adult diapers.

 

But before we go further, let’s agree on something: the term “adult diapers” really needs to go. It’s infantilizing and stigmatizing—not to mention embarrassing. “Adult diapers” brings with it connotations of someone who’s unable to work, go out, or do much on their own, of someone who relies on a caregiver. And that description definitely doesn’t apply to many of the women who rely on these products, thank you very much.

 

The term “adult diapers” is also a low blow to the companies working hard to make really great absorbent underwear that do so much more than “adult diapers” implies. There are so many more suitable and more accurate terms—overnight underwear, leak-proof panties, absorbent briefs; the world of nomenclature is your oyster!—and whatever you want to call them, these products work wonders when pads just don’t cut it, whether that’s every day, at night, or when you travel or anticipate long stretches without access to a bathroom.

 

Part of the reason the “adult diaper” market is booming is because brands are finally catching on to the needs of such a major segment of the population—which is a good first step. (Changing the name “adult diaper” is next!) We’re frankly thrilled that the days of puffy, plastic-y, white adult diapers are over, and sleeker absorbent underwear in a variety of cuts and colors are taking their place. Though they’re still disposable (and super-absorbent!), this new generation of adult diapers increasingly resemble real underwear. And that’s a good thing—because positioning them as akin to underwear rather than diapers makes more people willing to wear them. And acknowledging and addressing UI problems leads to happier lives. A spokesperson for Always Discreet, one of the leading adult diaper brands, said that since the line was introduced in 2014, the number of women admitting to having UI has risen from 11 to 14 percent.

 

Here are some of our favorite disposable absorbent underwear (or, fine, “adult diaper”) brands:

 

  • Always Discreet: Made of a soft cottony fabric, these “adult diapers” fit comfortably and feel great. They come in a range of sizes, including XL, so they’re ideal for plus-sized women who want to feel and look good with dignity. One of Motherfigure’s contributors swears by Always Discreet; read her review here!
  • Always Discreet Boutique: Nude-colored and with pretty floral designs, these are a slightly more feminine take on the Always Discreet product. The Boutique line makes it clear that “adult diapers” have come a long way. It’s almost hard to tell that these are disposable at all!
  • Depend: Perhaps one of the most well-known brands of adult diapers, Depend has also taken steps away from the thick, white adult diapers of yore. New briefs in bright colors and made of breathable cotton-like fabric in the Silhouette line, and max absorbency in Fit-Flex briefs line, give women back their dignity while also absorbing intense leaks.
  • TENA Overnight Underwear: Soft, cloth-like material makes these super comfy, letting you sleep well without worrying about any unwanted leakage.

 

There’s also an entire world of non-disposable absorbent underwear out there that takes adult diapers to a whole new level. Brands like Icon, Knixwear, and Lunapads make underwear that absorbs urine right into the fabric, and the underwear can be washed and reworn. These come in a variety of styles (including thongs), cute colors, and can even feature lacy accents.

 

 


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Life as a nomad


I sold everything to travel the world in 2015, and since then, I’ve been to 19 countries, living for weeks or months at a time in each. While I love my current lifestyle, travel is full of surprises—and as a woman in my 40s, sometimes those surprises include dealing with UI issues.

 

An emergency hysterectomy in Albania wreaked havoc on my bladder, which my surgeons told me was par for the course with the way they had to manhandle my innards for the surgery. It meant that I had to tinkle every 60 to 90 minutes post-surgery for a couple of months. And here I thought I was getting to finally ditch pads after leaving my uterus in the operating room!

 

The ever-daunting quest for personal hygiene products is one of the worst aspects of playing nomad. Unlike back home, I was never overwhelmed by choice while abroad. Often, I had little to no choice, since pads might be only an afterthought in shops owned and staffed by men, or a single brand would be offered by pharmacies. In countries like Morocco, pads were either thick granny-style pads or the super-slim style made for teen girls with no thighs. In Spain and Portugal, trying to find unscented pads was ludicrous. I don’t know about you, but some things for me can’t be helped with “mountain-fresh scent”—who are they kidding? Far too often, I stood in store aisles sniffing packages to try and find unscented products.

 

But post-operative UI also meant changing my travel style for a while, thanks to the constant need for bathrooms. This made me an urban explorer, opting to stay in busier neighborhoods with lots going on, always carrying cash in case I needed to buy a coffee or something else under the guise of using a toilet. Thankfully, day one in Morocco taught me to always have tissues in my bag, since I had to pay exorbitant prices to people sitting outside bus station toilets, selling toilet paper by the square – by the square! Carrying my own saved me from ever having to try to explain how the loos were out of paper in some Albanian businesses that seemed apathetic about providing it.

 

During my awkward recovery phase in Tirana, the capital of Albania, pads helped save me from doing the pee-pee dance in line at cafes or the duck walk from squeezing my thighs together in hopes of reaching toilets in time, ones that always seemed to be outside, around the corner, upstairs, downstairs—anywhere but close.

 

But nomads don’t stay put for long. My recovery was six to eight weeks, and I got out of Dodge in the eighth week, when I thought things had settled down sufficiently. Frustratingly, the 10-hour bus ride through Albania and Montenegro’s mountains to Sarajevo, Bosnia, re-inflamed my abdomen, and UI flared up again for a few more weeks. The scenic route nearly undid me!

 

A lot of that grief came from the rude discovery of my VIP bus being not VIP at all. It’s common to book bus tickets online in Europe, and when I did so, the site promised air conditioning, toilets, WiFi, gold-gilded seats, cushions of air, and more. My “luxurious, full-service” bus trip to Bosnia promised all these extras but turned out to have none. Even suspension seemed to be missing on that bumpy, thumpy trip.

 

When I boarded in Albania, I realized the bus lacked a toilet, so I rushed out for a last visit to the loo. That bus station’s restroom made the “the worst toilet in Scotland” from Trainspotting look enviable. You don’t need to know more, but some things can’t be unseen.

 

I rejoiced when our bus got a flat tire in the mountains of Montenegro and the driver limped it to a roadside tavern. Toilet visit! And a needed glass of wine! Bus travel always means at least two hours between stops, and who knows what the toilet conditions are like en route; we got lucky with that stop.

 

Of course, I would rather travel around the world without UI troubles, but I soon realized that life is meant to be lived, and people travel with far greater obstacles. With some planning, awareness, and preparations, I figured there’s no reason why I can’t have the adventure of my lifetime no matter what my bladder has in mind.

 

So after years on the road, in and out of trains, planes, and buses in some of the most amazing (but occasionally less than accommodating) places in the world, I have a few other tips for anyone planning a trip while managing UI:

  • Get aisle seats on airplanes. The last thing you need is the ire of your passenger in the next seat when you’re up once an hour to use the loo. Check seating maps online when purchasing tickets and choose seats close to designated toilets—usually at the front or back of the plane. If it costs you $10 to have that convenience, then it’s money well spent.
  • Carry change. In places in Europe, Africa, and Asia, you often have to pay to use a toilet in train stations. Sometimes the door is staffed by someone who’ll can break a bill for you, but often it’s an electronic gate you can’t pass till you insert coins. And if you don’t have the right currency yet, always, always use the loo before you get off the train, just in case.
  • Stick a packet of tissues in your bag. It’s best to never expect there to be toilet paper so you’re not caught off-guard. Many countries don’t typically provide it.
  • Bring pads with you if you’re loyal to a brand or style. In Europe, pads are slimmer and smaller. There are fewer packages, with far less choice, on shelves. Oddly, pharmacies won’t sell them in some countries, but in other nations you buy them in pharmacies. And if you’re sensitive to the perfume in scented pads, best to have your own.
  • Consider a peeing tool! If you need relief when experiencing the great outdoors, there are tools to make that easier, which can also help in countries with “squatting toilets,” like India. Devices like the GoGirl make it possible for women to stand and pee like a man, as it’s a rubber spout one holds in place for doing the deed while standing. Usually they come with a travel container for storage. It’s not thrilling to carry these things around, but they’re great to have when needed.

 


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May editor’s note


At the beginning of May, we celebrated mothers of all stripes, so as the month comes to an end, we wanted to talk about the joys and challenges that can come with being a mom. Motherhood can be a beautiful, fraught thing. And for many of us, motherhood means urinary incontinence, whether we’re experiencing it for the first time with a new baby, or coping with it again with a second or third birth.

Because postpartum UI is so common (up to half of new moms experience leaks even five years after giving birth!), we spend a lot of time at Motherfigure talking about it. So we’re thrilled to devote our May newsletter to highlighting some of our amazing mom writers and their UI stories.

One writer shares how she used humor to cope with the unexpected side effects of her bigger second baby. Another talks us through her experience growing up with UI—and how motherhood brought relief, and a sense of community, because she was no longer alone among her peers. We’re also breaking down fast facts on postpartum incontinence and management options. Finally, we’ve got a review from one ecofriendly mom devoted to cloth diapers, who turned to cloth GladRags to manage her UI.

As always, let us know what you think.

Chelsea

 


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