The nursing honeymoon

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A month before my due date, I awoke to a strange sensation in my abdomen. Moments later a line of blood-tinged liquid trickled down the inside of my right thigh.

 

 

 

Having miscarried three years earlier, a spasm of fear shot through me. I took several deep breaths and began praying. Then I dialed the hospital, and an advice nurse told me to make my way to the hospital because I might be in labor.  

 

I breathed a sigh of relief just before a new wave of panic washed over me. Impossible! The baby’s not due for another four weeks.  Please, not another premie! My oldest child had been born a month early four years ago, and as a result, breastfeeding had been a nightmare. Images of nipple shields, nursing pads, lanolin cream, and breast pump paraphernalia strewn across the kitchen counter crowded my imagination. I saw myself attached to the breast pump again and sequestered to the cherry wood glider in the baby’s room for hours each day.

 

But I went to the hospital, and 12 hours later my little man arrived, red, wrinkly, and perfect.

 

Sure enough, in his first hours, he refused the breast and would only take the bottle. During my second night, a stoic nurse studied me while I struggled to breastfeed my boy, clumsily shifting him from cradle hold, to crossover hold, to football hold, then back to cradle hold. She revealed that she used to be a lactation consultant and explained how vital it was that my baby begin nursing soon, as if the round-the-clock breast/syringe/bottle/pump routine I had adhered to for the past 48 hours had been my most minimal effort.

 

“If he doesn’t catch on soon, he’ll most likely always prefer the bottle.”

 

“How soon do you mean?” I asked.

 

She shrugged.

 

I pressed. “Two weeks? Three weeks? A month?”

 

“It’s doubtful he’ll take to breastfeeding if he hasn’t already done so within his first month,” she replied.

 

One month. Those two words tattooed themselves on my brain. The nurse’s warning replayed itself in my mind over the next weeks. I recalled the many nursing obstacles I had experienced following the birth of my daughter, including poor latch, mastitis, thrush, and low milk supply. I had been determined that my daughter would breastfeed for at least six weeks. Eventually my persistence paid off. Her latch improved and she finally took to breastfeeding within her first month.

 

It was a different story with my son who simply had no interest in the breast and only wanted the bottle. Still I attempted everything possible to interest him in breastfeeding. I consumed gallons of nursing teas, pumped around the clock to increase milk supply, put him to the breast regularly, and tried all different sizes of nipple guards. I practiced the maddening supplemental nursing system technique, which was supposed to teach my baby to nurse naturally. However, after weeks of switching out various-sized syringes and wires, taping and re-taping the wire to my chafed chest, and struggling to keep my son’s head in the right position while wrestling with the constantly shifting wire, I had reached wit’s end. My four-week-old baby was still only interested in the bottle. The nurse’s words replayed in my head: It’s doubtful he’ll take to breastfeeding if he hasn’t already done so within his first month.

I gazed at the layer of dust on my dresser and remembered the stack of dishes in the sink, as well as the mountain of laundry I’d neglected for weeks. So much to do. I was moments away from giving up on breastfeeding altogether and resorting to formula, when my mother’s friend, a lactation consultant, called to offer advice. She listened to my problems and said, “You’re exhausted and overwhelmed. You need a break. Actually, what you need is a nursing honeymoon.”

 

She explained that a nursing honeymoon is a few days spent in bed with the sole purpose of connecting with your baby stress-free. I was supposed to watch movies, eat my favorite foods, and most importantly relax. She encouraged me to snuggle with my son and give him lots of skin-to-skin time. She also ordered frequent feedings, not out of duty but rather as an opportunity to bond with him.

 

I shared the plan with my husband. I ignored the laundry and sink full of dishes. I closed my bedroom door and lounged with my new baby, admiring his spiky dark hair and faint dimples. I drank in the tiny perfection of his fingernails and toenails and crooned every lullaby I could think of.  

 

I lay on my side, drawing him close to me, and attempted breastfeeding every hour. He was still having trouble latching, so I tried a nipple shield. By midday, we had already made progress. At first he only sucked a few times. Still I cheered for him, exclaiming how talented he was, and kissed his fuzzy head.

 

During the next attempt he sucked for 30 seconds. Again I gushed over his marvelous achievement and snuggled him closer. This went on until he eventually nursed for three minutes straight. It felt as if we had won the New York City Marathon. Two days into our honeymoon we were nearly breastfeeding pros. Nursing was shifting from a source of anxiety to one of joy. Two months (yes, two months) after his birth, he was finally nursing without any help.

 

I learned a valuable lesson during that nursing honeymoon: bonding with my precious baby trumps dishes, piles of laundry, and dusting. I will be forever grateful to the woman who granted me permission to relax and simply enjoy my little man.

 

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The benefits of a postpartum doula

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Doulas are important resources for mothers. When you’re pregnant, a doula acts as a coach, advisor, and guide to all things birth related. Doulas offer emotional and physical support as you plan your pregnancy and prepare for your new baby. 

 

But your relationship with your doula doesn’t have to end after the baby arrives. In fact, many women find that having a doula postpartum is just as valuable, if not more, as it was while planning the birth. 

 

A doula who offers postpartum services can ease the experience of having a newborn. After giving birth, many women have emotional or physical difficulties adjusting to their new life. The right doula can make a big difference, because she’s there to mother you while you focus on your new role and new baby. In many ways, then, postpartum doulas fill gaps in the U.S. healthcare system when it comes to the so-called 4th trimester.

 

Every postpartum doula is unique. Some offer lactation consulting and other hands-on services, while others provide emotional support. When choosing a doula to begin your pregnancy journey, be sure to ask about her postpartum doula services. You may find that because a doula was present at your birth, you feel innately comfortable having her provide additional care. 

 

Here are some of the benefits of a postpartum doula:

Assistance with newborn care

Many postpartum doulas also offer newborn care. Although every doula’s services will be unique, there are a number of basic tasks a doula may be willing to help you with. Additionally, a postpartum doula can teach you techniques for newborn care. A postpartum doula may be able to help with:

 

• babysitting
• diaper changing
• bathing
• nursery setup
• swaddling and bundling your infant
• babywearing
• stroller setup
• comfort measures 

 

For new parents, having a doula postpartum to assist with newborn care is worth its weight in gold. Not only can a doula impart all this knowledge, she can also lend a nonjudgmental hand so you can take a shower or get out of the house for a bit.

 

Referrals for classes and services

If you’re looking for classes, support groups, or childcare services, a postpartum doula will be able to make referrals. Because of their experience, postpartum doulas are usually well connected with mother-baby groups and other communities for new parents. They’ll be able to help you find the best resources in your area.

Light housekeeping, errands, and meal prep 

Physical support can be the most valuable aspect of postpartum care. It’s easy to get overwhelmed as a new mother and let household chores fall through the cracks. A postpartum doula can assist with this. Many offer services that include light housekeeping, running errands, and meal prep. If you have another child, they can assist you with caring for them, in addition to dog walking and other pet care. Many doulas will make themselves useful around the home, as caring for a child goes beyond breastfeeding help and bathing a newborn—moms worry about so much more, and so will doulas! 

Emotional support

Many new mothers are overjoyed after giving birth, but others may not feel this. It’s common to feel depressed, irritated, angry, scared, or confused after your baby is born. After all, your body has just been flooded with hormones, and you’re recovering from physical birth. If you don’t feel like sunshine and rainbows, that’s OK. In addition to feeling sad or scared, some new moms may also feel ashamed because they’re not living up to family or societal expectations placed on new mothers. This is where a postpartum doula can be a big help.

 

According to CommonHealth, “Social support is consistently identified as an important factor in the prevention of postpartum depression and mood disorders,” and a postpartum doula can provide unique emotional support after you’ve had your baby. Your postpartum doula can help guide you through your emotions, helping you feel like you’re not alone or misunderstood. Many doulas can also offer holistic techniques for managing your mood, like guided meditations and aromatherapy. They can also work with your partner and other family members to create a more supportive family environment.

 

Some women develop mood disorders during the postpartum period. A doula is not a replacement for a therapist. However, if you feel you need support for your mental health, your doula may be able to help you find a great therapist in your area.

 

Social support is consistently identified as an important factor in the prevention of postpartum depression and mood disorders, whether the support is provided by family and friends, professionals, or trained volunteers.

Breastfeeding and lactation support

Many postpartum doulas are also lactation consultants or trained in breastfeeding support. A postpartum doula can help you find the best nursing clothes, nursing pads, and pumping equipment. She can help you set up your pump, sterilize the parts, and even wash bottles. She can also advise you if you experience difficulty while breastfeeding. 

 

Although we like to imagine that breastfeeding is easy and painless, this isn’t the case. Many new mothers find breastfeeding a challenge. Whether your baby isn’t latching or you experience problems such as mastitis, having a doula postpartum who offers lactation consulting will really help.

 

Your postpartum doula can also prepare you for eventual weaning. They’ll be able to assist with this process by offering information and support after you stop breastfeeding.

Advice on parenting styles

When it comes to caring for a newborn, there are many different parenting styles. Each one has benefits, so it can be difficult to know which one is right for you and your baby. Even if you’ve read parenting books and attended classes, you may still have questions. Where should your baby sleep? Is it better to let your baby cry or comfort them? 

 

A postpartum doula can advise you about this. Most postpartum doulas have studied a wide range of different parenting approaches and worked with multiple families. They can share their expertise and experience with you. This will help you make decisions about how to care for your newborn.

 

Having a doula postpartum can make your first weeks and months as a new mother much easier. For the best questions to ask a doula in interviews, check out our guide. 

 

 

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Breastfeeding tips for first-time moms

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If you’re a first-time mom, one of the most nerve-wracking things to look forward to is breastfeeding. 

You already know that breastfeeding has many benefits, like a healthy immune system for baby and a great bonding experience, but you’ve probably also heard plenty of horror stories (mastitis, anyone?). 

 

 

The most important breastfeeding tip we can start with is don’t stress. We know, telling someone who is already stressed not to can only exacerbate the situation, but it’s a good idea to take a deep breath and remember that your baby will get fed. 

 

Some other breastfeeding tips to try are: 

 

Play around with positions

 

For first-time moms, we recommend getting comfortable. You’ll spend a significant amount of time breastfeeding, and you’ll get uncomfortable pretty quickly if you get stuck in an awkward position. Plus, if you’re comfortable, you’re more likely to be relaxed, which will only help. Remember: Breastfeeding is yet another trick of the hormones (oxytocin is what helps trigger your let-down reflex), so comfort is key. 

 

Two easy and comfortable positions for first-time moms are: 

 

• Laid-back position or “biological nursing”: For this position, you’ll want to lean back on a bed or a couch, somewhat reclined and supported by plenty of pillows. Rest baby on you in whatever position is comfortable, as long as their whole body is resting on yours and their mouth can reach your breast. Your baby can latch naturally to the nipple, or you can provide a little guidance by pointing the nipple toward your little one’s mouth. 
• Side-lying position: In the side-lying position, both mom and baby should be lying—you guessed it!—on their sides. Once you’re both lying on your side, use the hand that you aren’t leaning on to cup and support your breast. 

 

Of course, these aren’t the only two positions worth experimenting with—but they’re good ones to try if you’ve never breastfed before. Check out this article for even more breastfeeding positions. 

 

Once you’ve found the right position…

 

It might take you a few tries to find the right position for you and baby, and that’s completely normal. Pay attention to the positions that your baby seems to have an easier time with and don’t force anything if it isn’t working. 

 

In the meantime, there are a few breastfeeding tips you can follow while you experiment: 

 

• Make sure your baby’s mouth is level with your nipple. 
• Regardless of position, they shouldn’t need to turn their head to be able to reach your nipple. 
• Their head should, however, be tilted slightly backward. 
• If it is possible, make sure that your baby is latched to the entire areola, not just the nipple. 
• Make sure baby is lined up so their nose is clear, so they can breathe through it while they feed. 

 

Pay attention to the signs your baby is giving you

 

Just like you should be paying attention to the positions where your baby has the easiest time latching, you should also be paying attention to when they’re hungry. Babies know their needs better than you do at first, so if they’re hungry, you can let them eat. If they’re asleep, but you’re worried they haven’t eaten enough, do not panic or wake them unless your pediatrician advised that (which they often do in the early newborn days, especially if they’ve lost a certain percentage of birth weight). Generally speaking, babies will let you know when they’re hungry, and they might give you some signs other than crying, too. 

 

Some signs of hunger are: 

 

• Repeatedly turning or raising their head
• Continuing to open and close their mouth or even sticking out their tongue
• Sucking on whatever is nearby 
• Waking up and acting restless

 

Stay hydrated 

 

Perhaps the most important tip of all the breastfeeding tips we can give you is to stay hydrated. It’s one of the key components of the milk you’re producing. You’re drinking for two now, after all. It’s a good idea to have a glass of water nearby when you breastfeed or grab one right after to refuel your body. The more you breastfeed, the more milk your body should naturally be producing, but you have to be sure you’re feeding your body the right stuff, and one of the most important things for your milk supply is water. 

 

Don’t worry, leaking is natural 

 

In the first few weeks of breastfeeding, it’s common for milk to leak from your breasts. Don’t be alarmed; this is completely natural and nothing to worry about! But it is messy. You’ll find that leaking can happen when you hear a baby cry (even if it isn’t your own!), when your baby hasn’t nursed for several hours (or if you haven’t pumped for several hours), when you think about your baby, or when you feel a strong emotion. 

 

The leaking will eventually lessen as your body regulates how much milk you actually need to keep up your supply. In the meantime, you can place a nursing pad in your bra to absorb any leaking milk. Here’s our guide on buying a nursing pad. 

 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help 

 

This may seem like a lot to focus on all at once, especially if your baby is crying and hungry! So don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Lactation classes are taught by lactation consultants and they can give you the closest thing to hands-on experience you can get before your baby is born. Plus, nurses are trained to check in on you and make sure your baby is getting fed. 

 

If you have any other concerns, a lactation consultant can come visit you in the hospital and give you advice before you head home with your newborn. In addition, you can find a lactation consultant to work with once you’re home. They can help measure the milk your baby is getting so you have a clearer idea of your supply, help get you into good positions based on your home setup, and offer other tips personalized to you and your family. 

 

 

 

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Navigating sobriety in mommyland

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On the morning of my 35th birthday, I woke up still drunk, without any memory of how I had put my kids to bed. The sun was shining through the curtains and I had to go throw up in the bathroom before I read them a morning story. I thought I had left blackout drinking behind me—that it was something I used to do, a youthful indiscretion.

 

 

I had always been the one to keep going, never leaving wine in the glass at the end of a meal, never wanting to stop or knowing I should. Though I stopped regularly blacking out in my 30s, I never lost the urge to check out—even after I had kids. That’s what alcohol was for me: a socially acceptable way to not be present.

 

But I looked at my children that day and decided I would never drink again. And while that was the right decision for me, I didn’t realize just how much it would isolate me from “mommy culture” and my friends.

 

My drinking shifted over the years. Over and over, I had tried to make alcohol work for me. I’d only drink on the weekends, or a couple of days a week. I would meditate early in the evenings so I could reward myself with a dirty martini afterward. I began to crave a drink every day at 5 pm when I had been playing pretend since lunchtime, or getting yelled at about a grilled cheese sandwich, or keeping a baby from crying while staying entertaining enough for my daughter not to sit on him. I would open some wine, slowly escaping the emails that needed to be answered or a hard conversation about finances with my husband. When it would take hours to get our kids to bed, I would take my wine glass with me to my son’s room, my husband calling after me, “You’ve been home with the kids. You deserve a break.”

 

When there was no alcohol at a friend’s daughter’s birthday party, I sent my husband out to get wine. When I sobered up the next day, I realized I could no longer enjoy a child’s birthday party without alcohol. Suddenly my daughter clinking her glass with mine, saying, “I have a mommy mimosa,” became less funny. I was showing her that this is how you do life: pretending to be engaged in whatever we were doing, all the while feeling guilty for being hungover.

 

That’s the thing with booze: it never fixes anything. It makes whatever it is go away for a moment, but the boredom, the social anxiety, the deep-rooted feeling that your life isn’t what you thought it would be? All of that is waiting for you once you sober up.

 

Making the decision to stop was a relief. But now that I don’t drink, I see how alcohol is everywhere. I never noticed, until I stopped communicating in wine memes or speaking in references to it being 5 o’clock somewhere. At the end of a yoga class the other day, the instructor sent us off with, “Go have some margaritas! You’ve earned them.”

 

I look around. I was the only one not laughing. Alcohol is how we speak to each other.

 

I organized a “mom’s event” for my daughter’s school. The owner at the yoga studio told me there’s a side room where “everyone can have wine afterward.” I kept explaining that we didn’t need to have drinks, but it’s like she couldn’t compute what I was saying. She finally just said, “It’s there if you change your mind.”

 

In Target, I see rows of shirts emblazoned with “Rosé All Day” and “Cheers for Beers.” My local grocery store sells hot pink bracelet flasks and bags that dispense wine. (At what point does a glass with dinner turn into needing to accessorize so alcohol is always on our body?) Greeting cards at cute boutiques feature bottles of champagne and toasts to another year, one stating, “You’re the reason mommy drinks!” while a woman grins at her children, cocktail in hand. Looking for fun activities to do around town I find floral arranging, yoga, and a 5k fun run, all including a blurb about “margaritas on tap” or that “cocktails will be served.”

 

These drinking add-ons are what you used to get me there. Now I wonder how I—how we—got to a place where we can’t engage in an activity without a drink, or three, on the side.

 

I used to be the one organizing happy hours and brunches. Now, I don’t get invited to these things, which stings. But what’s more painful is realizing that unless I drink, I’m not valued as a friend. Longtime friends have lost interest, whether because of age or my sobriety I don’t know, which had been deeply painful, but I have the stomach for it now.  

 

Now, nearly two years into my sobriety, I have begun to crave the quiet more and more. I no longer have FOMO when I see pictures of friends out, with big smiles and full glasses. The folks who actually want to connect stick around for coffee dates and green juice outings. The very things I used to consider boring alternatives to happy hours end up offering much deeper and more meaningful interactions.

 

When I meet new people now, I don’t immediately share that I’m sober—not because I’m ashamed, but because that isn’t the defining thing about me. Whether someone drinks or doesn’t shouldn’t matter, but I know it does. I talk about my kids and what I like to do, such as  walking and yoga, both of which I did when I drank, but now my body feels better, my mind, lighter.

 

And I’m genuinely interested in those things now—the things beneath the drinks. The childhood messes and the longing to witness my children, even when it’s boring. That is life: millions of plain moments all strung together. If I learn to find the joy in that, I don’t need anything else.

 

 

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Stages of childbirth: What to expect in labor and how to cope

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Whether you’re becoming a mom for the first time or expanding your family with another child, each birth experience is totally unique. However, the stages of childbirth do follow a specific “pattern.” 

 

 

By understanding the stages of childbirth, you can know what to expect in labor and how to cope. This helps many women and their partners have an easier birth experience. If you have a doula to assist with labor and birth, she can help you during each of the stages of labor.

 

First of all, always remember there’s no right or wrong way to give birth. Labor can be a beautiful process for some women, while others may find it to be the most physically and emotionally challenging experience of their lives. For many women, it’s both. 

 

Let’s face it: Nothing can completely prepare you for the experience of birthing a child, but it can help to learn what to expect during each stage of labor. In general, childbirth is divided into three stages. Here’s a breakdown of each of the three stages.

First Stage of Labor

In general, the first stage of labor is the longest, and is itself divided into three phases, each with its own unique features and challenges. 

 

Phase 1: Early labor

 

The first phase is called early labor. It’s just that: During this phase, your body is preparing to give birth. Your cervix dilates to three centimeters, and mild, irregular contractions begin. This is when you might be wondering whether you’re even in labor. During the early labor phase, you may experience the following:

 

• Contractions that feel like menstrual cramps, aching in your lower back, or pressure in the pelvic region
• Contractions lasting between 30 and 45 seconds, with a rest period in between lasting from 5 to 30 minutes
• Water (amniotic sac fluid) may break

 

The early labor phase can last anywhere from 8 to 12 hours. Although it may not be the most comfortable, it isn’t necessary to rush to the hospital or birthing center during this phase (unless you have underlying health issues). Stay hydrated, eat healthy snacks or light meals, and continue to urinate as usual.

 

If you have a doula, you may want to call her or check in via text. Begin timing your contractions and note their intensity. When your water breaks, be sure to note the time as well as the color and odor of the fluid. 

 

Most importantly, relax and conserve your energy. This is easier said than done, as some women may feel anxious or impatient during early labor. But relaxing actually helps labor progress. So try a calming activity like listening to soft music, an adult coloring book, or a guided meditation. If you enter the early phase at night, try to sleep. 

 

Phase 2: Active labor 

 

Next comes the active labor phase. If you’re going to a hospital or birthing center, it’s time to leave! Make sure your partner and your doula (if you have one) are present to support you. The active labor phase usually lasts between three and five hours. 

 

During the active phase, you can expect everything to become much more intense. Contractions become much stronger and much closer together. On average, they will last about 45–60 seconds, with only three to five minutes of rest in between. Your cervix will dilate to seven centimeters during active labor.

 

To cope with this stage of childbirth, we recommend doing the following:

 

• Change positions often
• Take short walks around the room, if possible
• Continue to drink plenty of water
• Have a partner or doula massage your abdomen and lower back
• Practice breathing techniques 

 

Phase 3: Transition phase

 

After the active phase, your body begins the transition phase. The transition phase only lasts between 30 minutes and two hours. However, it is widely considered the most difficult part of the stages of childbirth. 

 

In the transition phase, the cervix dilates from 7 to 10 centimeters. Contractions become extremely intense, often overlapping. They may last for 60 or even 90 seconds, with a rest period between 30 seconds and two minutes. You may also experience nausea, vomiting, gas, hot flashes, or chills.

 

During the transition phase, the body releases a surge of hormones. Many women feel scared, anxious, angry, or want to give up. You may feel like you can’t do it. That’s normal! And it can help to keep those fearful feelings at bay by remembering they are normal and that entering transition means you are so close. You’ve got this. 

 

To help prepare for the transition phase, talk to your partner about what to expect. Let him or her know that hyperbole is super common, as is a sense of fear or wanting to give up. You might try to plan ahead; for example, you might decide that you want to spend transition in the tub. If you’ve talked it over with your partner beforehand, then he or she can support you fully and help advocate for you if you need it.

 

Second Stage of Labor

The second stage of labor is the moment you’ve been waiting for: the birth of your child! For most women, this stage lasts between 20 minutes and two hours. Contractions will continue at high intensity and high frequency, and you’ll begin to feel strong pressure at your rectum.

 

In the first of the three stages of childbirth, your body has been preparing itself to deliver your newborn. Now, you’ll begin to feel an urge to push. (Or you’ll be told it’s time to push.) Get into a position that lets gravity assist you, relax your pelvic floor, and push during contractions. From movies, you’ll likely be familiar with a bed-bound position. It’s not uncommon for birth to happen in bed, with women lifting their legs and feet, to support the pushing. Many physical therapists recommend the second stage be approached on hands and knees, as this can help relax the perineum and is said to prevent tearing. Work with your birth team to figure out the best position for you! Breathe out as you push, and be sure to rest in between pushes. 

 

Sometimes, the baby’s head begins to emerge and then slips back into the birth canal. This is common, so don’t get discouraged! Eventually, the baby’s head will crown. During crowning, you may experience a burning or stinging sensation, and your provider will advise you to stop pushing. The second stage of childbirth ends when your baby is delivered. 

 

Third Stage of Labor

After the baby comes, it’ll feel like you’re all done. But the third and final stage is actually the delivery of your placenta (also known as afterbirth) and lasts between 5 and 30 minutes. 

 

During this stage, the doctor may gently pull on the umbilical cord to release the placenta. It’s normal to experience shivering or shaking during this stage. It’s very likely that you’ll also feel exhausted—after all, you’ve just given birth! This may feel relatively trivial following the birth of your baby but some women find the delivery of the placenta to be trying. Every birth is different. 

 

 

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Which medications are safe while pregnant?

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According to the Centers for Disease Control, nine in 10 women in the United States take medication during pregnancy. Whether it’s prescription or over the counter, many pregnant women wonder about pregnancy-safe pain relief: Which medications are safe to take when you’re pregnant? Which should be avoided? Do we really know? 

 

 

You’ve likely noticed that the FDA doesn’t require pregnancy categories be published on product labels for over-the-counter medications, which makes it hard to navigate the pharmacy shelf when you’re experiencing pain and need relief. Unfortunately, many medications haven’t been tested for their effect on pregnancy. According to one report, 90 percent of the medications approved by the FDA from 1980 to 2000 did not have sufficient data to determine whether they’re safe for expectant or breastfeeding mothers to take. At the end of the day, taking medication during pregnancy may be safe for you, but the effects on your baby may not be fully understood by medical science. 

 

That’s largely because pregnant women are poorly studied (they’re usually excluded from clinical trials), and on top of that, few researchers are comfortable pushing the limits of the risk line with such a population. At the same time, pregnant women tend to experience more pain, which makes the question of pregnancy-safe pain relief even more acute. Some women find their migraine symptoms abate during pregnancy, while others have worse migraines than before pregnancy. Some women experience round ligament pain, rib pain (hello, kicking baby!), and a whole host of other ailments. 

 

Note, too, that risk is different depending on one’s stage of pregnancy, and different risks are carried when nursing as opposed to while pregnant (which we’ll unpack in a separate piece). It’s worth noting that no medicine can be considered 100 percent safe.

 

Pregnancy-safe pain relief based on trimesters

 

A medication’s risk can vary based on how far along you are in your pregnancy. In short, some medications can increase risk of miscarriage if taken in the first trimester. Others impact fetal development based on what’s happening with your babe. And still others are to be avoided in the third trimester because they can impact labor and delivery. The bottom line is that pain-relief medications enter your bloodstream in order to do their jobs, and they can then be carried through the placenta and impact your developing babe. 

 

Pregnancy risk categories

 

Since 1979, the FDA has classified medication into categories A, B, C, D, and X based on their so-called pregnancy risk, often boiling down to how well a medication was studied and whether it was known to cause birth defects if used during pregnancy. Although the FDA replaced these guidelines in 2015, they’re still pretty commonly referenced. So we’ll describe them in brief here:

 

• Category A: Medicines classified as Category A pose no risk to the fetus in the first trimester of pregnancy (and there’s no evidence of risk later in pregnancy, either.) 
• Category B: Animal studies have failed to demonstrate Category B medications as posing a risk to the fetus, but there aren’t any well-controlled studies in pregnant women. 
• Category C: Animal studies have shown an adverse effect on the fetus. Although there aren’t any adequate studies in humans, potential benefits of the drug may outweigh the potential risks. 
• Category D: Investigational or marketing studies in humans have found positive evidence of human fetal risk, but potential benefits may warrant use of the drug despite potential risks. 
• Category X: Studies in animals and/or humans have demonstrated fetal abnormalities and/or fetal risk. The risks involved clearly outweigh potential benefits. 

 

It’s also important to note that these categories are assigned at the time of marketing approval—and are not updated as new studies are done. 

 

When researching pregnancy-safe pain relief or other types of medication you can take during your pregnancy, always talk to your doctor first. Don’t start a new medication, even if it’s over the counter, without clearing it with your OB-GYN. This article is not a replacement for medical advice.

 

In this article, you’ll find publicly available info on what  pain medications are safe to take while pregnant. As always, we believe being informed can empower you to make the best choices for you and your baby—and even to ask the right questions of your medical provider. Here’s an overview of this important pregnancy health topic.

 

Natural pain relief remedies 

 

First, you might want to consider some of the many natural remedies for pregnancy-safe pain relief. Unless you have underlying health conditions or allergies, these remedies are safe for any phase of your pregnancy:

 

• Ginger for nausea and stomach cramping
• Gargling with salt water for a sore throat
• Witch hazel for skin irritations and hemorrhoids 
• Hot baths for stiff muscles and cramps
• Ice packs and heating pads for general aches and pains

 

If you have a doula, she can also assist you with natural home remedies. Although natural remedies are no substitute for medication, you may be able to find pregnancy-safe pain relief from many common ailments without visiting the pharmacy. 

 

Increasing your exercise—if you’re able—can also reduce the likelihood of needing medications during pregnancy. Try to get at least 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise each day, such as walking or jogging. Activities like yoga are also great hobbies to adopt, which you can continue to practice during your pregnancy.

 

Medications thought to be safe 

 

If you need to take medication while pregnant, WebMD offers a helpful list of over-the-counter brands. Currently, these medications are classified as Category A: 

 

• For headache: Tylenol aka acetaminophen
• For heartburn: Maalox, Mylanta, TUMS, Gaviscon, Riopan, Titralac
• For first aid: Neosporin, Bacitracin, J & J

 

This is not a comprehensive list of pregnancy-safe pain relief and medications. As more medicines are studied for their effects on pregnancy, this list may change. However, the current data about the above medicines suggests that they do not have adverse effects on pregnancy. Again, always consult with your doctor before starting a new medication. 

 

Pain-relief medicines to avoid while pregnant 

 

Finally, according to WebMD, here are some common medications to avoid while pregnant. Unless otherwise directed by your doctor, common advice is to avoid these medicines:

 

• Aspirin
• Ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin)
• Naproxen (Aleve)
• Ben-Gay/menthol topicals and patches 

 

A note on pregnancy-safe pain relief 

 

Unfortunately, there is so much that’s unknown about pregnancy-safe pain relief and what kind of impact certain medications may have on your baby. Although there aren’t a lot of studies being performed on medications and pregnancy, data is constantly changing. 

 

If you’re not pregnant yet but you and your partner are trying to conceive, it’s a good idea to make an appointment with your doctor to talk about any prescription medications you’re already taking. If one of these medications will negatively impact you or your baby, your doctor can help you explore other options. They may change your prescription or wean you off the medication before you become pregnant. For one woman’s story about what she wished she’d known about meds for her chronic pain, click here. 

 

Ultimately, speak with your doctor if you’re concerned about a particular medication and work with him or her to make the choice that’s right for you and your baby. 

 

Disclaimer: The information herein is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

 

 

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My confinement month

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In Chinese culture going back for generations, new moms practice confinement, also known as zuo yue zi, or “sit the month.” Confinement occurs the first month immediately after birth and requires the new mom to not do anything for those first 30 days.

 

My birth was atypical (a natural, non-medicated breech delivery—a different story for another day), but I had minimal interventions, and the biggest issue was a second-degree tear. I arrived home after two pleasant days in the hospital and my husband and I were “on our own” for only a few hours before my mom arrived. And for the next 30 days, my mom became my primary caretaker, mothering the new mother as I entered my confinement.

 

When my mom explained it to me, she shared how the new mom does not wash her hair for 30 days (seriously?!), she eats pigs’ feet with black vinegar and ginger (what’s black vinegar?), and she does not go outside or have visitors (so essentially she’s under house arrest).

 

None of that seemed very appealing, but there was one core benefit of confinement my mom emphasized that solidified my decision to do it. In Chinese culture, it is believed that the postpartum body is in a very weakened state. Birth leaves the body with a huge void in the womb, a space filled with air, where the baby once was. That space, or what my mother would call “wind,” leaves the new mom susceptible to any number of future ailments, such as unstable menopause or body aches if she does not have a proper postpartum experience. On the flip side, with the proper nutrition and healing practices, a new mom has the opportunity to reset her body, and the care and support it receives during the recovery period can set up the new mom for good health in the long term.

 

Confinement is called “sit the month” because the new mom is meant to literally sit in bed while her caretakers manage everything for her—this includes laundry, cleaning, cooking, caring for younger kids, and whatever else may need to be done in the home. And so that’s what I did (or rather did not do) with my mom’s support. I could not have imagined experiencing postpartum life without my mom by my side and without the structure and “limitations” of confinement. The first days after the birth of my daughter were a whirlwind. It was a relief not to have to worry about “real-life” things like cooking, cleaning, errands, laundry, and yes, bathing.

 

My mom was acutely focused on keeping me warm with an absurd number of layers of clothing and blankets and on preparing specific foods for me. My meals consisted of cooked, warm, protein-rich dishes, and pretty much everything was studded with minced ginger. Protein, often in the form of chicken, pigs’ feet, or eggs, helped my body rebuild. Ginger warmed up my body and also helped usher that wind out of my womb, helping it return to its original state. Additionally, I drank gallons of bone-broth-based soups simmered with medicinal herbs that helped with lactation and strength recovery. Before bed each night, my mother would fill a thermos with hot soup and leave it on my side table so I could sip it whenever I woke up to nurse my daughter. My eyes swell with tears just thinking about the tenderness of that act, which became an evening ritual for me.

 

The one part of confinement that horrifies most people when I discuss it is not my consumption of pigs’ feet but the choice not to bathe or shower. But it is believed that wet skin and hair bring dampness to our bodies, into our empty wombs and deep into our bones, which then leads to health issues both immediately and in our later years. I wiped my body with a warm washcloth every few days and held out for as long as I could without washing my hair, but after about 25 days, I told my mom I couldn’t stand it anymore.

 

The next afternoon, she made me a bath with hot water steeped in ginger, which filled my bathroom with its aroma, making it feel like a mini spa. The bath felt like the unofficial end of my confinement, the water cleansing and renewing me, a beautiful way to mark the end of the practice.

 

The physical healing was transformative. By the end of the 30 days, I felt strong enough to take care of my baby, and my uterus, vagina, and pelvis felt on track to becoming fully healed.

 

In my mind, the focus of confinement had always been about my physical health, but I had never accounted for the psychological benefits.

 

Clearing my plate of responsibilities those first 30 days gave me the time, space, and permission to establish a healthy attachment to my daughter. I had this new person in my life whose safety and well-being I was responsible for. I had to adjust to her schedule, learn her cues, and show her that life on earth was safe. Without knowing it at the time, I was laying the foundation for our lifelong relationship and setting her up to develop physically, mentally, and emotionally.

 

Having that time was crucial for my mental health as well. At birth, my identity completely shifted: one moment I was a pregnant lady and the next I was a mother to a physical child. The transition to motherhood is unlike any other, and it is a lonely and rushed one for many women. There is little time to truly sink into the experience, reflect on what just happened, reevaluate priorities, and ponder what is to come. Confinement allowed me to do this and to transition into being “Mom.”

 

During those late nights, thoughts materialized out of thin midnight air as my newborn gently suckled. This reflection might be a distraction to a mom who had to wake up early to get ready for work or to clean the house before friends came to visit. But for me, who had support in the morning to sleep in and ease into the day, I pondered and wondered and mused to my heart’s content. My imagination stretched and processed who I was as a mom and who I would become.

 

Because of confinement, I was able to become a mom in peace, not in chaos. My body was able to heal in the crucial recovery period after birth. I was able to integrate my identities as daughter and mother and became a newer, truer version of myself. I realized the uphill battle that moms face in our society and how support and love should be, but aren’t, the foundation of our motherhood journeys. Above all, I learned to trust my instincts and I became a confident mother. Just like my mother, who was there every step of the way.

 

 

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Trying to give birth vaginally? Here’s how to avoid a C-section

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The number of women in the United States having C-sections has gradually gone up over the past few decades. In 2017, the CDC reported the highest cesarean birth rate yet, at 32 percent of all births. 

More than a quarter of women experiencing cesarean delivery, which makes C-sections normal. Common, even. That said, it’s undeniable that the C-section rate is rising at a rapid rate. ⁠But that trendline has also sparked questions. For one, are all these C-sections medically necessary? And if not, is there anything women can do to avoid one?

The answer is complicated. Births unfold in crazy ways, and part of the magic and madness is that we have to cede control. Here at Motherfigure, we don’t believe in any “right” way to give birth. Vaginal births aren’t better than cesareans, or vice versa, and a healthy baby and mama should be the sole goal. But for those interested in avoiding a non-medically necessary C-section, let’s dig into some helpful tips for being proactive with your birth preferences.

 

How to avoid a C-section tip #1: Choose your medical provider carefully

 

When selecting your doctor or midwife, ask about the practice’s C-section rates. When you go into labor, your regular doctor might not be available, at which point another provider at the practice would step in to deliver your baby. Every practice, and every provider, has its own philosophy about birth practices.

 

If you’re trying to avoid a C-section and your labor ends up being complex, you may want a provider you know has experience using natural methods and won’t jump straight into medical techniques. If you’ve decided to work with a doula, you may want to ask for her advice about doctors and midwives she’s worked with, since many doulas have seen different kinds of births at all kinds of practices.

 

If you want to avoid a C-section, it’s vital to find a provider with a low cesarean rate and open-minded birth philosophy. If you find that your current doctor doesn’t align with what you have in mind for your birth plan, you’re always allowed to find a new one, even if you’re a few weeks from your due date. Your comfort, well-being, and desires, coupled with the health of the baby, are the most important things. Finding a doctor or midwife who will support that is key.

 

How to avoid a C-Section tip #2: Consider hiring a doula

 

Research shows that women who have doulas are 26 percent less likely to need a C-section. Doulas also help manage stress, anxiety, pain, and discomfort before, during, and after birth. They’re sort of like a cheerleader, therapist, educator, masseuse, and trusted friend, all wrapped up into one person, professionally trained to support pregnant women.

 

It’s difficult to pinpoint why, exactly, the use of a doula reduces cesarean rates. Their physical, informational, and emotional engagement and help has something to do with it. Doulas also act as advocates for laboring women. When fear, pain, or potential pressure from medical staff or family members overwhelms moms in labor, doulas can step in to be a voice of reason, safety, and calmness during otherwise chaotic and stressful circumstances.

 

They’re trained to give posture and positioning advice for more comfort and to help the baby out, provide evidence-based information, and help women communicate with medical providers to follow the birth plan of their choosing. In short, they’re worth looking into if you’re firmly against a C-section.

 

How to avoid a C-Section tip #3: Try not to induce unless you need to for medical reasons

 

Sometimes, the bun just doesn’t want to leave the oven. Your doctor may suggest inducing labor if a baby is showing signs of medical issues, such as poor growth or distress. Mothers with high blood pressure, uncontrolled diabetes, preeclampsia, or certain other medical conditions may need to be induced for the safest birth possible. 

 

But the CDC says 25 percent of all inductions aren’t medically necessary—they’re elective. And some studies show that induction can double the chances of C-section. If your doctor is advocating for induction when there’s no immediate danger or risk to you or the baby, you can, and should, feel confident in standing your ground and declining. (If you have a doula, she’ll help advocate for your position!) 

 

How to avoid a C-Section tip #4: Stay home as long as possible

 

If you’re having your baby at the hospital, try to avoid getting to the hospital before you’ve reached active labor. Hospitals often recommend coming in when you’ve been having contractions that are five minutes apart and last for at least a minute for longer than an hour.

 

Often, this is a sign of early labor, especially if it’s your first child. But active labor involves more intensely painful contractions—it may be difficult to talk—and backache or leg discomfort/heaviness. The earlier you go to the hospital, the higher the chances of intervention, including C-section, to speed up the labor process.

 

You should also try to avoid an epidural, at least while you’re in early labor. Epidurals can sometimes help vaginal birth by eliminating much of the pain, but they can also make it difficult for a baby in an odd position to move into a better one, lower your movement and sensation abilities, or require other interventions, like an IV, catheter, and monitoring. If you have a doula or have taken an independent childbirth class, you may have enough tools and guidance to not need pain medication.

 

How to avoid a C-section tip #5: Communicate and educate throughout your pregnancy

 

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your ideas about the birth plan and when a C-section would be mandatory. Having a support system is an important part of this journey.

 

There are also plenty of books and resources with information about techniques, approaches, and ways to pivot during labor. The Official Lamaze Guide: Giving Birth with Confidence by Judith Lothian and Charlotte Devries is a great starting place.

 

Women’s bodies are created for growing and delivering babies, and as much as we can plan for the birth we want, things don’t necessarily go our way. But no matter what happens, the primary focus is delivering a healthy baby and feeling positive, well cared for, and assured throughout your delivery.

 

 

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The wisdom of mothers

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“Ok, what should we play?” I glance in the side-view mirror and ease the car onto the highway. My wife, Ella, is in the seat next to me, fiddling with the radio volume. “Let’s play ‘what we’ll do with our kids,’” she says and smiles. I grin back, “OK, you go first.” She looks out the window, considering options, “Read the books we loved when we were kids,” she says and begins to list them. “That’s good,” I reply and counter with “and we’ll make them pancakes for breakfast on their birthdays. And they can choose the shape of the pancakes.” The game goes on this way for a while, with each of us taking turns brainstorming ideas of how we plan to raise our future children. We play it on airplanes, on road trips, as we wait in line at the supermarket, anywhere, really. We’ve been playing various versions of the game for years, long before we started the logistical maelstrom of finding a sperm donor, tracking my fertility, choosing a midwife to work with on the insemination process. Long before I finally got pregnant last fall.

 

When I found out I was pregnant, we were beyond exhilarated. I took the pee test three times, staring at the stick over and over, dumbfounded. We cried a lot that day, mostly euphoric tears. But it was a bittersweet joy. We’re ecstatic to be having a baby, but we also know that this is a child Ella’s mom will never meet. Even writing this now, 22 weeks later, a sharp pain stops my breath.

 

A lot of people complain about their mothers-in-law, so much so that it’s become a cliché. I never had a reason to complain. Ella’s mom was a rare kind of person. Profoundly devoted to those she loved, she had a sixth sense about showing her unconditional love and support in a way perfectly matched to the peculiarities of each of us. Ella spoke to her mom several times a week; they were best friends. We both reached out to her regularly for advice, especially for difficult decisions like where to move or which job to take. She had a gift for listening deeply and asking the right questions. She had a quiet wisdom and an unwavering patience, but also a great sense of humor and fun. She loved games.

 

When Ella’s mom left the physical world, last February 23, everything changed. I wish there were a less hyperbolic way of stating that, but there just isn’t. How we perceive the changing of the seasons, or the immediacy of living life, or our relationships with friends, family, strangers—all of these are viewed through a new prism that refracts the light in ways we hadn’t been aware of previously. Sometimes it makes rainbows on the walls. Sometimes it blinds us.

 

Inhabiting the role of “mother” is a process. I’m now a little more than halfway through my pregnancy (according to my app, our baby is now the size of a spaghetti squash) and am only just beginning to get to know him, and me, and me with him. I talk to him all the time and find myself using phrases my mom used with my sisters and me. They spill out of me, words I didn’t know I knew. Increasingly, over the past months, I’ve noticed the ways in which I’m similar to my mom. We make the same kinds of jokes. We both dance and sing along to the music in drugstores and supermarkets (incidentally, this dancing in public mortified me as a preteen). We both have a way of flattening any challenge or complication that stands in our way, getting things done that others said were impossible. We both have short fuses and are very passionate about the people we love. I’ve known all of this for as long as I’ve known myself, but lately I’ve been wondering what it will mean for the person I’ll be when this baby makes me a mother.

 

It’s within these two frames of reflection that Ella and I are becoming mothers. Each of us in a silent conversation with our respective moms and past selves. We’re trying to live inside both stories as we create our own, new narrative with our own, new little person. How can we hold tight to her mom’s legacy, revisiting her memories and family stories? What can we glean from my mom’s stories, revisiting my memories, and trying to make sense of it all? What part of this will become our motherhood?

 

It kind of comes back to the game, actually.

 

“Ok, how about arts and crafts?” Ella might ask me. “We always had all these crafts around the house, and my mom would be making creative things with my sisters and me. Let’s do that.” Then we’d talk about the kinds of crafts. Origami, maybe, or collage. Finger-painting of course. I want to try some papier-mâché, but that would have to be outside. We’ve started working out some Shabbat traditions to practice with our child, an amalgam of the ones our families (mine religious, hers religiously atheist) practiced when we were kids. So we bless the candles and the wine, but we also read poetry and play songs on guitars. “Every week,” I told Ella a few weeks ago, “my parents would bless me and my sisters and add something really good we’d done that week. I want to do that with our baby.” She likes that idea.

 

By playing the game (more and more as the baby grows), we’re coming up with a value system within which to be mothers, and it’s begun to boil over into other areas of our life. “What would your mom say?” one of us will ask when the other is faced with a challenge, or “What would you do if the baby was already here?” As we break apart the choices our mothers made when we were young, our choices come into focus more readily.

 

We’re realizing that our mothers are with us all the time, even though they’re both far. Her mother is, of course, out of physical reach. Mine is back home, in a whole other world, several degrees removed from our everyday reality. Ella’s mom is with us when we plant flowers in our garden or learn to identify the songs of the birds that come to visit. She’s with us in the quiet moments, when we meditate or take the time to turn off our devices and listen deeply to someone that we care about. My mom is with us when we’re innovating new creative projects, when we have a dance party in the living room. She’s in that satisfied feeling we get after a day of hard but productive work. They’re both with us when we love our friends and family unconditionally. They’re both with us when we play games, and laugh, and love.

 

Late last night I awoke to the feeling of our baby kicking more strongly than he’d ever kicked. Such a surreal feeling, an independent being making impressions on your insides. After a few moments I woke Ella and put her hand on my belly. “Do you feel that?” I murmured. “That’s our son.” We lay there for a few long moments, the whole family together.

 

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Five tips for managing pain during labor and delivery

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There’s a reason it’s called labor. Labor and delivery can be long… and hard. So let’s talk effective labor pain management methods!

 

 

First, a rundown of the options that can help with labor pain management: 

 

• Epidural
• Laughing gas 
• Ambiance, or right birthing environment 
• Focus!  
• Gentle touch or massage 
• Water immersion 

 

Below, we’ll explore each option so you can make the right choice for you and your baby. 

 

Epidural

 

Most moms are already aware of the option to have an epidural, which was first given back in the 70s. According to the CDC, some 60 percent of women get an epidural during vaginal birth. The epidural refers to the way the pain relief is given; but in childbirth, the relief comes from the powerful painkiller fentanyl. The epidural is known in popular media for being a big shot—which, yes, it is administered with—but it amounts to anesthesia that numbs your spinal nerves and basically blocks your brain from processing pain, while keeping you clear-headed and able to feel pressure. An anesthesiologist will numb you up and then insert the needle and catheter and start the flow of the epidural. Then, they’ll hand you a button (the process is called called programmed intermittent epidural boluses) to administer more medication if you need it. Many women report relief after about 15 minutes.

 

Though epidurals have been widely studied, there are risks, which include a decrease in blood pressure; a temporarily sore back where the needle was inserted; and, rarely, but worst of all, a hangover-like headache. And the epidural is also a commitment: Once you receive the epidural, many hospitals will require that you remain in bed to labor because of the placement in your back. Others are more sensitive to pain medications, and still, others found epidurals to be so numbing that they felt too removed from the birthing process. Sometimes, epidurals are said to even prolong labor. 

 

While an epidural may be the right fit for many, others might be looking to explore other options for labor pain management. So let’s talk about those, too. 

 

Laughing gas 

 

While laughing gas is still being introduced into U.S. hospitals, it is now more widely accepted than ever before. With laughing gas, moms can have something to take the edge off the pain, while still remaining present during labor. A big benefit of laughing gas? If you try it and decide you don’t like it (it makes some moms nauseous or dizzy), it will wear off fairly quickly, and you don’t have to use it again. If you find it helpful, you can keep puffing laughing gas periodically throughout labor. 

 

So, what is laughing gas, exactly? Laughing gas is nitrous oxide, or fifty percent nitrous and fifty percent oxygen. The nitrous oxide is inhaled instead of given through an IV and kicks in within thirty to fifty seconds of inhalation. Moms are fond of this labor pain management technique because they can be in charge of their pain management. If they feel like they need more, they can inhale more. If they feel fine or decide they don’t like its effects, they can stop inhaling! If this sounds like something you’d benefit from, be sure to talk to your doctor ahead of time to be sure it’s something they offer. 

 

Choosing the right birthing environment 

 

One of the best ways to manage pain during labor starts well before you go into it: finding the right birth environment. Ultimately, when it comes to choosing your birthing environment, that’s what you are looking for: comfort. So remember to bring your favorite blankets and pillows with you wherever you plan on giving birth. Whatever simple things bring you comfort, can help you in the delivery room.  

 

Some may find that they consider birth to be a medical event, and feel that surrounding themselves with the best medical professionals who have studied long and hard and know exactly what to do to get them through the process.  If you’re one of these people, it’s time to start researching hospitals and visiting birthing suites. Find a hospital that checks off all the boxes on your list of “must-haves” and makes you feel at home. Some people, however, get freaked out at hospitals and prefer something more intimate. If that’s what you want, maybe it’s time to start researching home births and doulas and find a method you feel comfortable with. 

 

Another important factor in your birthing environment is knowing who you want by your side. Is it your partner? A family member? Do you want it to be a family affair? Or more intimate? It’s important to put up these boundaries ahead of time, so everyone can know what to expect, including you!

 

Finding other things to focus on 

 

Labor can be a long process. In between contractions, you’ll need something to focus on other than the pain. Fear and anxiety can release stress hormones, which can exacerbate some of the feelings of pain that labor brings on be. Focus on the five senses—touch, sight, smell, taste, and sound—to find the right distractions.

 

Make a playlist that will pump you up during the hardest moments, and another that will relax you when things get stressful. Make sure your birthing partner is there to comfort you and to hold your hand. Learn breathing techniques that will help ground you.  And experiment with hot and cold—a heating pad for your back or a cold towel for your forehead—to help relieve some of the discomfort.

 

Gentle touch or massage 

 

Touch can send calming messages to your brain, whether it’s a gentle touch placed on a painful spot, a tight embrace, or gentle massages to soothe tight muscles. Receptors in your brain will receive these pleasurable sensations and block the reception of the pain that comes with labor. You are essentially giving your brain something positive to focus on instead of something painful, which can make itan effective labor pain management technique. 

 

Many women also find that applying counterpressure during the intensity of a contraction, often to the hips, can help make the pain more manageable. Your birthing partner or doula will essentially apply force applied to one spot using the heels of the hand. This can be especially helpful if you’re experiencing back labor.

 

Water immersion 

 

Water immersion, or hydrotherapy, can be used as a treatment for various symptoms and can be especially helpful during labor. Whether you want to take a hot shower at the beginning stages of labor, want to jump in a birthing tub for the transition, or you’re looking into a water birth, warm water can help relieve a lot of pain during labor. Many people find water to be very relaxing, helping them be in the right mind frame during labor and helping them find the strength to push through. 

 

Do what works for you 

 

Ultimately, when it comes to finding the right labor pain management techniques, it’s all about what is going to help you be your best self during labor. You know yourself, and you know what normally helps and comforts you in your toughest moments. So be patient, try not to compare your experiences to others, and know that you’re going to get through this. Just remember: this pain has a purpose, and the contractions bring baby closer to being in your arms.

 

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